this is a page for

Browsing Tag: time

The Simplicity of Family Fun

On The Nose

In my last post I wrote about how much work there was with a family and the importance of taking time for fun. I regret not spending more time just playing with my kids and enjoying them. I do remember some fun things we did together though. It’s funny that most of these things were spontaneous and unplanned yet they are some of the sweetest things I remember doing with my children. I’m not even sure how this one started but my children loved it. They would lie on the couch with their head on their dad’s lap and he would stack cheerios on their nose. My children would line up waiting for their turn in delightful anticipation. It was a contest between the children to see who could lay the most still and could get the most cheerios stacked. Each would carefully angle his or her head to figure out the best position. It was serious business! I was the one who supplied and counted the cheerios, and took pictures. A really simple thing yet when I talk with my children about it they remember it vividly and talk about how much fun it was. I still have the photographs and when I look at them sweet memories flood my mind. One picture shows my toddler lying there with someone holding her hands so she wouldn’t push the cheerios away. She had watched everyone else doing it and she wanted to do it too but didn’t actually want to have something on her nose. Her brothers and sisters were gathered around counting the cheerios as they went on her nose and cheering that she sat still. It is a priceless memory!

A Sweet Memory

Another sweet memory is when I had a daughter sitting on my lap and we made up different kinds of kisses. I had a couple of other children sitting next to me and each of them got involved and we were all laughing and doing the kisses on each other. One was the race care kiss where you zoomed your lips across the cheek of the other person, and of course you had to make a race car sound. There was the butterfly kiss in which you fluttered your eyelashes against the cheek of the other person. That one mostly tickled. An energetic one involved bouncing kisses off the cheek of your partner and we called that one the Pogo stick kiss. The most popular one was the ice cream kiss which involved licking the cheek of the unsuspecting person sitting next to you. Yes, I know it’s disgusting, yet somehow it was fun when done with my kids. The ice cream kiss turned out to be the most fun because everyone was chasing each other to “kiss” them. It’s been many years and I don’t remember all of the kisses we came up with but I do remember just enjoying my children. I remember being present with them and just having fun together.

Singing and Dancing

Something else I remember doing is singing and dancing with my kids. We’d put on a Raffi CD and hold hands and dance around while singing along with the silly songs. A couple of my daughters have really good memories of doing that so I found some Raffi CDs on Amazon and sent them to them so they could do the same with their children. Most people today don’t remember Raffi or know who he is, which is kind of sad because of the good memories I have of his music. I have always liked singing and sang a lot with my children. Using familiar tunes we’d make up new words to songs as we were driving somewhere or working together. We also sang a lot of Primary songs driving places and the added advantage to that was it cut down on the fighting and arguing in the car.

Funny Sayings

One last thing want to share is how we made up funny sayings along the lines of See You Later Alligator. Every morning as my kids left for school I would say In a While Crocodile, and See You Later Alligator. One morning, on the spur of the moment, I added a new one. Hit The Road You Silly Toad which spurred others, Remember To Laugh You Funny Giraffe and then That’s Preposterous You Crazy Rhinoceros! Some of my kids thought of other ones too. We had fun most mornings adding to the sayings. I still say these to my only daughter at home as she heads out the door to catch the bus.

No Expensive Gadgets

When I look at these fun things what stands out to me most is that none of these cost any money, we didn’t go anywhere fancy and it didn’t involve any expensive gadgets. It was just me taking the time to focus on my children in fun ways, and being relaxed and really present with them. I wasn’t worried about what needed to be done, teaching them something important, or working. Maybe because it didn’t happen too often these things stand out in my mind and the minds of my kids. Whatever the reason, to me it emphasizes the importance of enjoying my children. It also shows me the value of just having fun together and the love and strength that results. I’m glad to have these sweet memories.

Another Magic Wand

Years ago, when one of my daughters was about 10, she was having some problems.  She was mouthy, argumentative and hostile.  It seemed like most of our interactions ended up in tears, sometimes her and sometimes mine. She decided she wanted to go to a therapist to work on some personal issues, which I thought was a great idea.  After several visits the therapist told me that she was a great kid but that she just needed more of my time.  I was shocked because I thought I gave her a lot of my time and I dismissed what he said as irrelevant.  It wasn’t until years later that I finally understood what it was that he was trying to tell me.  Most of the interactions I had with her centered on things like telling her to do her jobs, asking her for help with other kids, telling her to hurry up or slow down, and telling her things to not do or to get done.  Yes, I was spending time with her but it wasn’t the one-on-one individual time she needed.  It wasn’t the kind of time that said I love you and enjoy your company and want to be with you.  It wasn’t the kind of time where I go to know her heart, her hopes and fears, it wasn’t quality time.  Fortunately, this daughter has grown up to be an amazing person in spite of my ignorance.  She finds time for each of her children despite working full-time, probably because she recognizes the importance of it.  She is the kind of mother I wish I had been better at. So, if I had another magic wand to undo some things I would leave my house a little messier,  I would fix simpler meals and I would find ways to spend time individually with her and with each of my kids. I would get to know a little better what is important to each of them, get to know their hearts a little better.  Hopefully they would each know that I loved them and enjoyed their company and wanted to spend time with them.

A Lasting Gift

Many years ago I taught the Bee Hives in the Young Women’s program, a calling I loved.  I learned to love each of those girls and thoroughly enjoyed being with them.  One Sunday, on Father’s Day, I asked each girl how she knew her father loved her.  There was one response I particularly remember.  She  said “I know my dad loves me because he likes to spend time with me.”  I have thought about this response over the years.  I knew her father and he was a busy man.  He owned his own business, had busy church callings and had 5 other children beside her and yet she knew he loved her because he liked spending time with her.  And interesting to me is that he didn’t spend time with her while he was on his phone, watching TV or being distracted in numerous ways because she knew he LIKED to spend time with her.  He was really present when they were together and he conveyed the message that he really enjoyed being with her.  What a wonderful gift he gave her, and this is something I need to be better at.