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Browsing Tag: teen

Children,Lessons Learned

Another Magic Wand

posted on : September 10, 2018 posted by : Somethingsihavelearned 0 Comment

Years ago, when one of my daughters was about 10, she was having some problems.  She was mouthy, argumentative and hostile.  It seemed like most of our interactions ended up in tears, sometimes her and sometimes mine. She decided she wanted to go to a therapist to work on some personal issues, which I thought was a great idea.  After several visits the therapist told me that she was a great kid but that she just needed more of my time.  I was shocked because I thought I gave her a lot of my time and I dismissed what he said as irrelevant.  It wasn’t until years later that I finally understood what it was that he was trying to tell me.  Most of the interactions I had with her centered on things like telling her to do her jobs, asking her for help with other kids, telling her to hurry up or slow down, and telling her things to not do or to get done.  Yes, I was spending time with her but it wasn’t the one-on-one individual time she needed.  It wasn’t the kind of time that said I love you and enjoy your company and want to be with you.  It wasn’t the kind of time where I go to know her heart, her hopes and fears, it wasn’t quality time.  Fortunately, this daughter has grown up to be an amazing person in spite of my ignorance.  She finds time for each of her children despite working full-time, probably because she recognizes the importance of it.  She is the kind of mother I wish I had been better at. So, if I had another magic wand to undo some things I would leave my house a little messier,  I would fix simpler meals and I would find ways to spend time individually with her and with each of my kids. I would get to know a little better what is important to each of them, get to know their hearts a little better.  Hopefully they would each know that I loved them and enjoyed their company and wanted to spend time with them.

Faith,Life

Refinement

posted on : July 23, 2018 posted by : Somethingsihavelearned 4 Comments

When I was 17 I went with my mother to another state to visit a woman who was my mother’s best friend when they were teenagers.  They did everything together, as best friends do, and they both married very young, at age 16.  My mother eventually moved to another state with her husband and one day missionaries from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints knocked on her door and she immediately was interested in the Church.  She was baptized and set about trying to become a better person through applying the principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ in her life.  On this trip, when I met this woman I was immediately struck by how coarse and crude she was.  She was probably the most vulgar woman I had ever met, and it seemed to me that she even cackled when she laughed.  In that instant, even at age 17, I had a clear understanding of how the gospel helps to refine a person.  I could clearly see the difference between my mother and this woman who was once her best friend, and I could see how if my mother had stayed on the same path as her friend that she would have been similar to how her friend was now. In essence, I could see how my mother’s life and thus mine would have been without the refining power of the gospel of Jesus Christ. The gospel of Christ, when we let it, helps us to be better and do better.  It teaches us that as disciples of Jesus Christ we are to become like Him in every thought, word and deed. Sometimes this is overwhelming to think about especially if I look at all of the things I’m not doing right yet and how long it will be before I’m even close to becoming Christ-like.  Yet the thought that I focus on mostly is not the end result but the journey from good to better.  As I try to become more Christ-like my attitudes and desires change and I take joy in simpler things and in my journey there is more happiness along the way and in my life.  As I see progress in my life it gives me hope that I can do it and I am strengthened to accomplish very hard things.  As I am battling sins and bad habits in my life that I have been battling for years, I have decided that even if I don’t completely master in them in this life that I will die still trying because giving up is not an option.  I want to live with my Heavenly Father and family again.

 

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2017/10/be-ye-therefore-perfect-eventually?lang=eng