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Browsing Tag: service

A Little Bit of Martha and A Little Bit of Mary

Lately I have been thinking about one of my favorite scripture stories. It is the story of Martha and Mary found in Luke 10:38-42. It’s really only a few verses but it’s a story that teaches much. The story starts with Martha receiving Christ into her home. She is busy getting food and her home ready to receive such a beloved guest. Her sister Mary is sitting at the feet of the Savior. It’s interesting to read,”Mary, which also sat at Jesus feet,” because it implies that Martha often is found there too. But this day, each is showing love in her own, but different way. Martha is fussing about making sure everything is perfect and Mary is spending time with Christ.

Then Martha asks Christ to intervene. She is unhappy that she is doing all the work while Mary gets to relax and just enjoy visiting, and she wants Christ to do something about it. Christ’s answer to her reflects several things. He recognizes Martha’s hard work and careful manner and thus He accepts her devoted service to Him.  He also tells her that how Mary is serving Him is good: “But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.” Mary’s devotion and display of love are clearly accepted by Christ.

For years it seemed to me that Christ was saying Mary’s way of showing love was better. I read it as Mary had chosen the better part, better than Martha. Then one day I noticed it said she had chosen the good part, not the better part. It didn’t say that Mary’s way was better. There was no comparison happening. Both ways were acceptable. Both ways were good. They were just different.

The problem was when Martha wanted Christ to tell Mary to help her. It was as if she was saying her way was better, she was judging. She didn’t recognize Mary’s efforts at demonstrating her love for Christ. Another problem was that she didn’t address Mary directly. So, not only was she judging, she also wasn’t taking responsibility for the herself or the situation. She was wanting someone else to solve the problem when she was quite capable of doing it. There are so many subtle elements to this story, and so many things I relate to.

I think one of the reasons I like this story is because I am sometimes Martha and sometimes Mary. When I’m Martha I’m often fussing around trying to make sure everything is perfect, usually with good intentions. I am showing my love through my food and service.  But sometimes I’m also thinking my way of doing something is better. Unfortunately, sometimes I judge others and their ways as inferior. It’s subtle and I don’t always recognize that’s what I’m doing, but it is what I am doing when I criticize someone else’s efforts, even if it’s just in my thoughts.

I can be Martha when I think my way of studying the scriptures is better, or how I discipline my children, or how I fulfill my calling. Any time I think my way of doing something is better than someone else I am being Martha. Sometimes I don’t want to deal with problems and I hope someone will fix things for me even though I’m quite capable of it. Just wave a magic wand so I can have my way.

In some ways I’m not painting a very pretty picture of Martha, which would not be accurate. This is only one side of her and the scriptures show her to be a faithful disciple. She was devoted to Christ, a woman of great faith. Martha wasn’t perfect but followed her Savior with complete trust. She was a worker and served others, and we need people like that. Where would we be without the doers of the world?

Sometimes though, I am also Mary, and my priorities are people I love. I concentrate on what’s important and try to keep it simple. My focus is on the Savior and I make Him my priority. I try harder to live with purpose and intention. But dinner does need to be fixed, and laundry done and children need to be tended. People need to show up at their jobs and lawns need to be mowed. As nice as it might be, I cannot spend all of my time studying the scriptures or reading conference talks.

Perhaps I am painting another inaccurate picture. The scriptures show Mary to be just as devoted to her Savior as Martha was, and undoubtedly she was a worker too. It seems Martha was used to Mary working alongside her in the kitchen and was upset when she wasn’t helping. Mary’s way of showing love and devotion was just different from Martha’s, each good and acceptable.

Ideally I would be a little bit of Martha and a little bit of Mary, or maybe Martha in some circumstances and Mary in others. Perhaps that is one of the lessons from this story. For me to serve and show love in my way and also let others do the same without judging. To recognize that Christ doesn’t compare me with anyone else. For me to also be just as devoted to my Savior as these two women were.

 

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/1987/01/mary-and-martha-faithful-sisters-devoted-disciples?lang=eng

 

Special Needs Basketball

A Basketball Tournament For Teens With Disabilities

Recently I attended a delightful basketball tournament for people with developmental disabilities. This tournament is sponsored by the local school district and is run by volunteers. Each of the teams consisted of 3 teens with some kind of a disability and 2 peer tutors. A peer tutor is a teenager who is normally abled and helps another teen with disabilities be successful in the school setting. This time the peer tutors were there to teach, encourage and help the teens be successful in basketball. Whenever a peer tutor got the ball he or she would throw it to a teen with disabilities and then instruct them where to go and what to do. Sometimes teens would throw the ball and miss the basket and then the ball was given to them to try again, and then again. Everyone would stop playing to allow the teens to be successful. If they actually made a basket, it was pure magic! The look on their faces was so sweet, radiating pure happiness. The whole day was all about helping these teens have a great experience.

For The Fun Of It

There were even a few teens in wheelchairs with a peer tutor manning the chair and running down the court with everyone else. I say running but really, at best, it was just a fast walk. Most of the teens with disabilities just couldn’t be hurried. Parents and coaches would shout “hurry” or “run” but it just wasn’t important to them. They would walk down the court holding the ball, not even bouncing it. Sometimes a teen on one team would help another on a different team by giving them the ball or saying encouraging things. They were there for the fun of it, not to win. The great thing is that no matter which team made a basket, everyone cheered.

Pink Shirts Everywhere

What was truly amazing to me was that there were 8 games going on at the same time, and each team played 4 games with a half time show from the various high school dance teams. And of course there was also the big playoff between the two highest scoring teams, with trophies for the winners. When you add up how many volunteers it took to pull this tournament off it’s astounding. Adult organizers, score keepers, coaches, people who got the school ready with directional signs and the peer tutors were just the obvious volunteers. All of the volunteers were in pink shirts and I saw hundreds of pink shirts! The volunteers, mostly peer tutors, were spending their Saturday helping these kids with disabilities play basketball.

Hope For The Youth Of The World

I have been to this tournament two years in a row now and both times I have been completely overwhelmed with the kindness, camaraderie, friendship and genuine caring exhibited by everyone involved. It’s really hard to understand the feeling that is there unless you have been there. Everyone was there just for the opportunity to help someone else. Sometimes we hear about a lot of bad stuff happening in the world today, a lot of it involving young people. This event and others like it give me a lot of hope for the youth of the world. There are some caring, unselfish teens out there doing some simple and yet significant things to help and serve others. Service truly brings a sweet feeling into life and this event was all about service. There are so many needs and so many ways to serve others and I can guarantee that if you reach out to serve others your life will be happier.

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2018/04/young-women-in-the-work?lang=eng

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2017/10/the-needs-before-us?lang=eng

See The Good In The World

I have written before about an organization called Orange Socks. Their mission is to teach people about the joys of raising a child with disabilities. Most people hear about or assume the difficulties and Orange Socks wants people to know there are good times as well as hard times. Their tag line is “inspiring life despite a diagnosis.” Orange Socks interviews families who have a child with disabilities and posts the interviews on their website as well as doing podcasts. They want people who are facing a diagnosis to hear from people who actually have a child with that disability. It helps to learn from those who have gone before us, to learn from them the realities of raising that child, of the good and the hard.

The reason why I am writing about this again is thatI have been privileged to go to several of the interviews. I was touched by the fierce love and advocacy the parents all have for their child and in some cases, children. I was impressed that these parents spoke mostly of the joys and happiness their child has brought to their family. When asked about the difficulties every parent said it was worth it, that they got far more back than they ever gave. I was amazed that in every interview I went to, except for one, the parents all spoke about how they relied on prayer to help them with their challenges. They spoke of receiving inspiration to help guide them as they cared for their child. The interviews have taken place all over the country, with people from many different religions. It really surprised me that so many people talked about praying. It surprised me that so many talked about relying on God to help them. It gave me hope to know of so many good people in the world. Sometimes it is easy to focus on the distressing things we hear about going on in the world. The media seems to blast daily sometimes even hourly the bad things that occur. It’s easy to think that most people are unkind and hurtful from watching the news.

There was another thing that happened also has given me hope. Several years ago I attended a 3 week program in Minnesota that focused on how to live with chronic pain. Every morning we had to set goals for the day, which were written on a white board in the classroom. One day, another woman in the program said her goal for the day was to express more gratitude in her prayers. That one comment is probably the thing I remember most from attending the chronic pain program. It told me that way over in Minnesota, there was a woman who believed in praying, who believed in God and in acting on that belief. It showed me that there are good people all over the country and world. Sometimes it seems like there is so much bad, and hurtful and horrific things that are happening. When I reflect on the parents interviewed and the woman from the program, I remember that there are good people in the world. Good people who believe in praying and believe in God. Who believe in helping others and giving service to their children. Even with the media bombarding us about all of the bad happening I know there is much good in the world. We live in scary times, but we also live in good and hopeful times. Take time to look for the good and you will find it!

The Key to Happiness

Another Christmas has come and gone and the years seem to be flying by. It wasn’t that long ago that I had little children who brought the wonder and excitement of Christmas into our home. Most of my children are adults now and I recently asked them what some of their favorite Christmas memories are. Most of them said that they loved doing Angel Tree or Sub for Santa projects, and they talked about the different projects our family did through the years. They even said it still brings them joy in thinking about the projects, and the happiness they brought to others. It’s interesting that they don’t really remember most of their gifts but they remember the service that we did. This is one of my favorite things about Christmas. It seems that so many reach out in service to others that it brings a joyful feeling into life, something almost tangible in the air. One of the reasons I like Christmas is because it gives people an opportunity to think of others, to reach out and serve. I like reading about the kind and wonderful things that people do for others. Recently I read a magazine article in Reader’s Digest that asked people how they find meaning or purpose in their lives. One of the replies that really stood out to me was from a man who said that he and his wife were having arguments about fair division of labor at home. He heard a sermon at church that talked about the benefits of serving others and he challenged himself to serve his wife every day for a month. He wrote about all of the little things he did around the house without thinking about who’s turn it was or who made the mess. He stated, “At the end of the month, I found that our life was happier, more contented, more intimate. I kept it up and more than won the lottery. We have been married for 30 years and look forward to many more” (Daniel Townsend, December 2018/January 2019, p. 31). This man found the key to happiness that many philosophers and church leaders have written about. When we serve others we are happier and often our own problems are put into perspective or diminish. Many people are searching for happiness and there are so many people who need help in this world. So this Christmas, give yourself a gift. Decide and follow through to volunteer at a school, at a hospital. Visit people in nursing homes or who are home bound. Help refugees, stock selves at food pantries or contact your local community service organization. Write a letter, make a phone call, send a text. There are so many ways to serve, and not only will you bless the lives of others, but you will be happier yourself. You will discover the key to happiness.

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2016/04/i-was-a-stranger?lang=eng

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/04/finding-joy-through-loving-service?lang=eng

Talents

Several years ago I was pondering the many talents that people have, the vast majority of which I do not have.  I thought of a friend who was very musical and thought I would love to be able to play a musical instrument or sing really well.  I thought of people who were artistic, who were excellent teachers or who were really good listeners, and then there are people who are mechanical and good with technology. There are people who are really good gardeners and people who can fix just about anything.  I can’t draw and I am horrible with mechanical things and I definitely can’t think of anyone who would ever have me fix something for them.  The list of talents that I don’t have goes on and on.  As I sat there feeling slightly sorry for myself and pondering why I couldn’t have any or all of those talents the thought came to me “because then you wouldn’t need anyone else.”  Another eye-opener!  We are taught in the scriptures that talents and spiritual gifts are to be used to bless the lives of others and I have definitely been blessed by other people’s talents.

My Mother-in-law

My mother-in-law is a wonderful woman.  She was widowed almost 19 years ago and came to live with us over eleven years ago after she had a series of strokes that left her deaf in one ear, diminished hearing in her other ear and with short term memory problems.  She has lived a life of service and hard work for her family, church, community and neighbors and is a woman of virtue and integrity.  Since she is a woman who has no problem speaking her mind, I was worried when she first came to live with us that she would bluntly tell me what I was doing wrong but that hasn’t happened and she has kept her criticism to herself, and instead has expressed her gratitude for us.  When she would come into the dining room for dinner she always took her hearing aid out because we are a noisy group, but no criticism.  If she ever saw me doing something she felt could have been done better a different way, I never heard about it.  She fell almost 4 years ago when walking about in her room and has been bed ridden since. She’s 97 and has wondered out loud “what’s it going to take to kill me?” and she has also wondered what good she is possibly doing in the world while being in bed.  This is the closest she comes to complaining and usually ends with “well, it doesn’t do any good to complain so I might as well not worry about it.”  Her attitude is amazing considering that she’s had to endure a lot of physical pain that comes with a failing body and the personal indignities of being bed bound.  It’s obvious that she wants to die and because she has a firm faith in the gospel of Jesus Christ she knows she’ll be with her husband and family again in the next world.  But, in spite of her wanting to die, not renewing her pace maker battery 4 years ago and having congestive heart failure, she lives on.  She wonders what good she is doing in the world where as I can see the good.  Through the years whenever my children needed someone to talk to there was always grandma with a listening ear.  Many times I would walk by her room and see one of my daughters lying on her bed talking with her and that daughter always left knowing grandma had confidence in her and that she loved her.  She taught my girls how to mend, crochet hats and told them stories of their ancestors.  She helped my daughter with Down Syndrome learn how to read.  I had made flash cards with words on them and she spent hours going over the words and listening to her read from books, always with a positive word for my daughter’s efforts.  This daughter is a great reader thanks in a large part to grandma.  She watched Disney movies over and over because that’s what my youngest daughter wanted to do.  Even though her presence in our home has been nothing but positive, she’s not perfect and that’s given us opportunity to talk about how even a really good person still has things to work on in her life and we keep trying to be better no matter how old we are. This has also given our family opportunity to talk about being tolerant and understanding with others weaknesses. She’s taught my children about faith, counseled them to make good choices and been their cheer leader in their endeavors. Especially in the last 4 years she’s modeled gratitude and optimism, and given us the opportunity to serve her, always with a thank you.  My children have seen us helping her and have helped her too, and have learned that family is important and that you take care of each other, even if it’s not convenient.  Because of her we are better as individuals and as a family.