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Browsing Tag: positive

I Hate Getting Up Early

I am not a morning person and I don’t like getting up early. My brain always feels foggy early in the morning, my bones feel stiff and my muscles rebel at having to work. Yet for over 30 years I have had to get up early to get kids ready for the day. I think I have complained the entire 30 years about it too. Recently I have noticed my 17 year old daughter (the one with Down Syndrome) saying the exact same thing I say, “I hate getting up early.” She says it frequently and bemoans the fact that she has to get up when the sky is still dark. Her words and her attitude echo mine but the funny thing is she really gets up easily early in the morning. She has learned to say those words and exhibit grumpy behavior because I do. Children are a great reflection of their parents words, actions and attitudes. They learn how to think and act about things from our behavior and sometimes that’s a good thing. Sometimes it’s not so good. Since hearing my daughter repeat not only my words but my tone of voice too, I have decided to not complain anymore (at least about getting up early). Now I have started focusing on the positive with her about getting out of a warm bed while its still dark outside. In my tired, fuzzy mornings I now say things like “aren’t we lucky that you get to go to a good school” or “you’re so lucky you get to ride the bus” because she absolutely loves to ride the bus. I still don’t like getting up early but focusing on the positive has been a good thing. There always is something positive to focus on because I live in a nice home that’s warm in the winter and cool in the summer. I have good food to eat and clean water to drink. Life is good and my words and attitude should reflect that. Hearing my daughter sound like me has also been a good thing. It helps me reshape my thinking and become aware of the things I say or do that maybe I need to change. Some things are easy to change while other things can be very difficult, but we do have help available. Keith Wilcox in the April 1985 General Conference said, “By seeking the Lord through prayer and through his holy scriptures, we learn to look for the beautiful and to develop positive attitudes.” God is in the details of our lives and will help us when we ask for His help, whether it’s something easy or something hard.

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1985/04/look-for-the-beautiful?lang=eng

The Woman With Three Hairs

Recently I heard a delightful story in a talk at church. The story told of a woman who awoke one morning and only had three hairs. She looked into the mirror and said, “I think I’ll braid my hair today,” and went happily on her way. The following morning she awoke and only had two hairs. “Today I will part my hair,” she stated and again went happily on her way. The next morning she awoke and only had one hair left. “I think I will wear my hair in a pony tail today,” she said and of course went happily on her way. The fourth morning she awoke and had no hair at all on her head. “How lucky am I,” she said. “I don’t have to do my hair today.” Needless to say, she went happily on her way.

What a great illustration of looking someone looking at what she has instead of dwelling on what she didn’t have, and of making the best of a not-so-good situation. Each of us have not-so-good situations in life. Some of them easy so we can be like the woman in this story, although being bald would not be easy! Other times our challenges can be very difficult and it’s hard to focus on the positive. In the Book of Mormon we read of a group of people who were being persecuted and having difficulty bearing their afflictions. Through prayer they received help. The burdens weren’t removed but the people were strengthened to bear them with ease. In Mosiah 24:15 we read that they did “bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord.” I think being cheerful, especially in difficulties, is another way of expressing faith and something I need to do better in. When I’m in the midst of a terrible migraine I find it difficult to be cheerful and sometimes I settle for pleasant. Often I’m not even close to pleasant and just have to grit my teeth and endure. Sometimes I find it hard not to be frantic with pain wondering how I’m going to survive. Even though I know the pain will eventually end it’s so hard to be patient and endure it. I truly admire people who are cheerful and look at what they have without dwelling on what’s not right in their lives. The story in Mosiah gives me something to shoot for: patiently and cheerfully submitting to the will of the Lord and looking for ways that He has strengthened me to endure this affliction easier. I hope that a year from now I can say that I have increased my ability to be cheerful, despite my circumstances, and thus more faithful. It should be easy. After all, I have more than three hairs on my head.

Things I’ve Learned The Hard Way

Here is a list of some of the things I’ve learned along the way, and some of them the hard way:

1)  Yelling at someone never accomplishes anything positive, but controlling my temper does.

2)  Sometimes I do my best and it’s not good enough.  Often God will make up the difference but sometimes people need to recognize it was my best and let it go.

3)  Sometimes I’m the one who needs to recognize it was someone’s best effort and let it go.

4)  Often I want life to be easier but anything worth having takes a lot of work, and that includes raising a family.

5)  Don’t worry about the small things because they are small things.

6)  Taking the long view always pays off.

7)  When I’m feeling grumpy and snap at people it’s usually myself I’m upset with. Recognizing this allows me to take a step back and make adjustments.

8)  When I’ve mastered bad habits it’s easy to slide back if I’m not vigilant.

9)  People I love get to make their own choices and all I can do is love them, but it doesn’t mean I have to like their choices.

10)  It’s better to listen to understand others instead of telling them how they should think/act/be.

11)  Input from others is good but the bigger the group the harder it is to decide something.

12)  Fair does not mean equal-each of my children get what they need and it’s not always the same or even the same amount as another one of my children.

13)  It took me a long time to figure out but I have no control over anyone but myself and even that’s iffy sometimes.

Since I have learned these things and have applied them in my life I have been happier and life has gone better. But, and this is number fourteen-

14)  Even if I am doing my best to live a good life, being kind to others and keeping the commandments I will still have challenges and problems.  The only way to deal with life and be happy is through Jesus Christ and His grace.

 

 

True Beauty

When I was a freshman at BYU I met this young woman who in looking at her was not very attractive. She was scrawny with poor posture.  Her hair was cut in an a very unflattering way and it was frizzy and very apparent she didn’t know what to do with it.  She had white spots on her front teeth and scars all over her face from acne. She was what someone might call homely.  One day she introduced me to her fiancĂ© who was tall, good looking and even dressed nicely and I remember thinking “what does he see in her?”  As I got to know her I noticed how kind she was, how she was the first to volunteer to help someone and how positive she was.  She always had kind things to say about others.  She was truly a joy to be around and I grew to respect her greatly.  As I got to know her fiancĂ© I realized he was pretty corny, and not very bright so it was difficult to have a conversation with him and he seemed a little self-absorbed. One day when I was working with her on a project he came over and when I saw the two of them together I remember thinking “what does she ever see in him” and then of course laughed at myself when I realized the complete turn around that I had down. Sometimes when I first meet people it’s easy to see only their outward appearance, and I have found that I’m often wrong in my judgement of them, for good or bad.  She taught me what true beauty is.