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Browsing Tag: mischief

Children,Family,Friendship,Life

Happy Birthday Dear Daughter

posted on : January 11, 2019 posted by : Somethingsihavelearned 10 Comments

When my oldest daughter was a toddler she was a hand full at church. To help keep her quiet and entertained, my husband would take his silk handkerchief that matched his tie (an 80’s thing) and roll and fold it in such a way that it looked like a canoe with “babies” in it. He would rock it between his hands and she would sit quietly and play with it. One time at church he forgot to wear his handkerchief and as we were listening to the speaker my daughter started looking through his pockets, moving his tie around and getting in his face. Since she was being quiet we didn’t think too much about it until she loudly shouted, “Where’s that little thing you use to make babies with daddy.” That quickly got our attention, especially as the people in the pews around us started laughing. We immediately put our heads down in deep embarrassment and explained that daddy forgot to bring it. Of course we laugh about it now! When she was a little older, she and her sister opened a 20 lb bag of flour and had a “snow” fight. When I found them, all I could see were two white faces with big eyes looking at me. That was a huge mess to clean up! Another time she and this same sister blocked off the bottom of the door of the bathroom with towels and filled the floor full of water to make an indoor slip and slide. I was downstairs doing laundry when I saw water pouring down from the ceiling. I ran up stairs and found 2 girls having great fun. I was amazed at their creativity but not amused with the damaged ceiling. One time I found my electric skillet in her bath tub with dried up food in it. It turns out that she and her partner in crime (this same sister) would take my electric skillet into their bedroom and cook things when they were supposed to be asleep. All of these things were basically harmless but they kept me really busy because what one daughter didn’t think to do the other one did. Of course there were a few things that weren’t so harmless like when she let her 14 year sister take her car and drive around with some friends. We were really lucky no one was hurt with that escapade. The years have passed and now this same daughter just celebrated her 33rd birthday. She has grown into a compassionate, thoughtful person who champions the underdog (humans and animals alike!). She has this knack for reaching out to others and becoming friends with them, and still keeps in contact with high school friends. When she is your friend you will have a friend for life. She will always have your back and she tries harder than anyone else I know to improve herself. She cares about her family and reaches out to build relationships. She is an amazing person who brightens our lives. In spite of all of her antics, I am glad she’s my daughter. Happy Birthday!

Children,Family,Parenting

Taking the Long View

posted on : September 3, 2018 posted by : Somethingsihavelearned 0 Comment

One day several years ago I got a phone call from one of my son’s 5th grade teacher.  She was calling to talk with me about how my divorce was affecting my son and his school work.  “Divorce?” I said.  “I’m not getting a divorce.”  It seems my son had found a creative way to get out of trouble for not doing his homework by telling his teacher that his parents were getting a divorce and it was upsetting him so much that he was unable to do his homework.  After reassuring her that my husband and I were happily married I also reassured her that this son would be turning in his homework in the future.  This same son is also the one who made bombs in soda bottles which caught our field on fire, climbed out his bedroom window with a 3 story drop below to play on the roof and jumped down our laundry chute and broke the bottom out of it.  He found a way to climb up onto the school’s roof which was supposed to be impossible and then of course the principal wanted to know how he did it so she could prevent other kids from doing the same thing.  My son proudly showed her how he managed it which then promptly negated the effects of any punishment we did. He stuffed toilet paper in toilets to flood them and used a hatchet to chop at the support beams in our then unfinished basement.  He used a rope to tie bedroom door knobs together so his sisters could not leave their rooms and he took things apart just to see how they worked, usually with a hammer.  One time my husband found something broken and yelled our son’s name.  This son asked “Why did you assume it was me?”  And of course my husband said “because it usually is you!” My husband and I talk frequently about how surprised we are that this son of ours managed to live to adulthood.  He crashed several 4-wheelers, rode his motorcycle standing on the seat, and rode skateboards with his friends on their stomachs underground in the city’s storm drainage system.  Why on their stomachs?  Because the pipe was only 2 feet in diameter so they couldn’t sit or stand up.  We despaired over this son and couldn’t figure out why he went from one stupid/crazy/dangerous thing to the next.  He argued with us over everything, and I mean everything.  He once told me that anything I told him to do made him want to do just the opposite.  I often thought that if he had just put half of the energy into homework or something positive the results would have been amazing.  The reason why I’m telling you all of this?  This son who seemed to go from one crazy thing to the next and who I fretted and despaired over has turned out to be a great adult.  He’s married to a beautiful young woman and they have a little girl and he has a job he loves and really works hard at it.  He takes being a good husband and father seriously, and he thanks my husband and me frequently for helping him in his life.  If I had raising him to do all over again I would praise more often, trust a little more, take the long view a lot more and ignore most of the stupid stuff.  Sometimes in the thick of things it’s really easy to lose sight of the big picture, it’s really easy to think that now means forever.  This son who I fretted and worried over has grown up just fine.