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Lessons Learned,Life

The Snot On My Face

posted on : September 27, 2018 posted by : Somethingsihavelearned 0 Comment

When one of my daughters was 2 I took her with me to go grocery shopping.  As I was putting her in the grocery cart seat she reached up and touched my face.  I didn’t think anything about that but just went on my way shopping, putting groceries in the cart and of course passing people in the aisles.  After about  30 minutes in the store I went to the checkout where they had mirrors for people to try on sunglasses.  It was at this point while looking in the mirror that I noticed a large piece of snot on my face.  Not just a little piece but a huge piece which my daughter had put on my face when she touched it.  I had gone through the whole store, passing people with a gigantic piece of snot very noticeably on my face.  Of course I was embarrassed and quickly wiped it off.  I wondered how many people had seen me this way while I was oblivious to its presence and I was very mortified. I have thought about this incident during the years and now laugh about it but I have also since wondered about what other obvious problems I have that others can see to which I am oblivious. What do others see that as I walk down the aisles of my life of which I am not aware? Sometimes I can be so unaware of myself, which is often merciful but not productive. Of course every so often I get glimpses in the mirror and see things that I am embarrassed about, things that I know I need to change, to improve upon (having children is a very good mirror!).  And in thinking about it, thank goodness for mirrors that allow me to see myself, the good and the bad.  Without mirrors there would be no growth, no change.  Without periodically really looking at myself I would not notice what I need to be doing differently.  So even though sometimes it can be embarrassing and hard to look in a mirror and see things I don’t like, I am also grateful that they exist for without them I would remain oblivious to the snot on my face.

Children,Down syndrome,Life,Parenting

Down Syndrome-An Opportunity to Educate

posted on : July 16, 2018 posted by : Somethingsihavelearned 4 Comments

I have a daughter with Down Syndrome.  She is a delightful, fun, smart person and because she is the youngest of my 8 children her brothers and sisters have grown up with her and recognize that having Down Syndrome is not a curse but just another way of being.  They know she has her strengths and her abilities as well as weaknesses and things she’s not great at doing, just like everyone else.  Many people assume that having Down Syndrome is a negative thing, that it is a hardship and that people with Down Syndrome have a very poor quality of life, that it is something to be pitied.  I know I did before my daughter joined our family.  But now of course I know how wrong I was in my thinking.  One of my daughters married a man who has a son with Down Syndrome and they have custody of him, and my daughter loves him fiercely.  You don’t ever want to mess with this mama bear and her cub.  Sometimes when she tells other people that he has Down Syndrome their response is something like “oh, I’m so sorry” and you can see she wants to thump on that person to even imply that he is something to be pitied.  I have told her that when people respond this way to see it as a chance to educate them.  Most people don’t know the joy of having a child with Down Syndrome in their lives.  They don’t know the blessings of having a person in their home who is usually loving and kind, sympathetic to others and who is funny as well as who loves to learn and try new things. Someone who trusts their parents completely and takes joy in simple things.  Of course these traits are not unique to just people with Down Syndrome and not all people with Down Syndrome are exactly like each other but most people with Down Syndrome are loving and kind.  They often have a zest for life and an implicit trust in those they love.  My daughter with Down Syndrome believes what I tell her, which is a joy and a responsibility.  Most of us have challenges in life and have situations in our lives we didn’t plan on, and there are people who don’t understand those challenges or situations.  Taking time to educate others about some of our life’s circumstances increases understanding, empathy, compassion and often helps others in their own circumstances.

https://orangesocks.org/diagnosis-resources/down-syndrome/

Lessons Learned

Goals

posted on : February 5, 2018 posted by : Somethingsihavelearned 0 Comment

I was reading my journal and came across some goals I had set in January 2012, six years ago.  I guess I had been reading a book by Elaine Dalton that said “Our vision of the future will help us press forward. As we prepare to succeed in this marathon of mortal life, we might like to start by taking a few minutes to envision where we want to be in one year or two or five.”  I wrote about how I had no vision of the future, or goals or anything I was working towards, mostly I was in day-to-day survival mode.  She said to take a few minutes to think about it, I took several months. When I finally came up with some goals I had them divided into 4 categories: physical, spiritual, mental and emotional.  I had two or three goals and methods under each category. I felt pretty good about this and went to work and I diligently pursued my goals.  I found that mostly what I was doing in my life was working on goal stuff and even though they were good goals and worthwhile pursuits, it was way too much!  I was overwhelmed and of course had set myself up for failure.  Who has time to pursue that many goals with several children still at home, callings and household responsibilities?  Actually, who has time to pursue that many goals even without all of those other responsibilities?  This year I have set one goal, just one goal and I have found that actively trying to achieve that goal is enough especially as I put effort into it and see a little progress.