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Browsing Tag: Joseph Smith

Down syndrome,Faith

“I Really Want to Get Married”

posted on : July 5, 2019 posted by : Somethingsihavelearned 0 Comment

My daughter, who has Down syndrome, turned 18 last week. She proudly announced that she’s an adult now. She’s aware of a lot of things in life. She watches all the preteen shows on TV and Netflix and is a sucker for anything to do with romance. She oohs and aahs when there is a wedding in a show. She loves it when they hold hands and kiss. She dreams of her own wedding and finding her true love.

A few year ago we were driving in the car together. She was staring out the window and said, “I really want to get married.” She had said this many times before and has said it many times since. But, there was something in her voice that tugged at my heart that particular time. Even though she’s pretty bright, she’s not capable of being independent, let alone married. Getting married in this life is not in the cards for her.

I have told her that someday she will get married in heaven. She will have a beautiful wedding and her family will be there and she will be very happy. She asks me questions about it frequently. Questions like, “Will I have a beautiful dress?” “Will I have flowers?” “Who is going to be my husband?” I try to answer these questions honestly with the little knowledge I actually have about heaven. I tell her, “I’m sure you will have a beautiful gown.” I don’t know if she’ll have flowers but I have told her, “I’m sure your wedding will be just how you want it.” When she asks about her husband I tell her, “I don’t know who you are going to marry, but Heavenly Father does and I’m sure He has someone wonderful in mind for you.” She’ll clap her hands with joy at the prospect of it all, but really, these answers just satisfy her temporarily. She still wants to get married in this life.

She has seen her sisters and brothers get married. She has seen them having children, and she wants the same joy that creating a family brings. It seems to be inborn in her to want to find a true love, a soul mate. I tell her that not everyone gets married in this life, but that hasn’t deterred her. She really wants to get married.

I haven’t told her this because she’s really not capable of understanding it, but I have been thinking about how there are a lot of things people want in this life that will never happen. People have problems they would like solved. Some have health issues they would like cured. Many want to be free from addictions, have enough money to meet their needs, or have family problems go away. Some people yearn for children. I think we can look at society, the world at large, and want for things that seem like will never happen. All of us, in some way, want for something that will probably never happen.

That seems to be part of life. To recognize that there are things that will not be in this life, and to hope for better things in the world to come. How do we deal with life when it doesn’t give us what we want most? When our hearts seem to be breaking and our souls are stretched to their limits? For me, faith in Jesus Christ and hope in His promises are sometimes the only things that I can fall back on. I trust in His absolute knowledge and power. Joseph Smith said that to have faith in God we need to know and trust in the Nature and Character of God. We need to know that He loves us, is mindful of us and trust that He knows what is best. To know that He knows what is going on, and if we stay faithful despite our circumstances, He will make all things right. I love the scripture found in Revelations 21:4 which says, “And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying. neither shall there be any more pain…” And so, with this promise we go forward knowing that God always fulfills His promises. We go forward, knowing there are things that we want, that we will never have in his life.

My daughter will not marry in this life, she will not have what she wants most now. But I am sure she will marry in the next world. I am sure because I know and trust in the Nature and Character of God. He will wipe away her tears and hold her close, and her pain will be gone. She will have what the faithful inherit.

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2017/04/songs-sung-and-unsung?lang=eng

Faith,Lessons Learned

Failures

posted on : March 8, 2018 posted by : Somethingsihavelearned 0 Comment

I have thought a lot about failures and sometimes how crushing they can be.  Sometimes we try and try, and try again and things still don’t go our way, no matter how hard we work, and we wonder why life is so hard or unfair.  One time I was thinking about Joseph Smith, Senior, the father of Joseph Smith the prophet.  He was a farmer who had crop failures after crop failures.  He needed to feed and clothe his family and despite doing his best he kept having his crops fail.  He lost his farms, moved his large family to new locations, started again and failed again.  He finally ended up in Palmyra, New York where he heard the land was rich and the farming good.  He was able to secure some land and start again, in the very place where God needed Joseph Smith, Junior to be.  If his crops and farms had been successful he never would have needed to move.  It seems that our failures, and when we keep on trying in spite of them, lead us along.  We learn from them, become stronger and wiser.  Like Joseph Smith, Senior, hopefully we end up where God wants us to be.

Children,Parenting

Teaching Correct Principles

posted on : January 29, 2018 posted by : Somethingsihavelearned 0 Comment

Joseph Smith once said “Teach them correct principles and let them govern themselves.” I had heard this statement many times pondered about it when some of my children were making choices that I didn’t like.  I felt like I had taught them to do good and be good yet they were still making unwise choices and I couldn’t figure out what I was doing wrong.  Maybe I hadn’t set a good enough example or maybe I hadn’t taught clearly enough important principles to guide their lives by or maybe I just hadn’t taught them in the right way or taught them enough.  I prayed and pondered and stewed over it for several years and then one day while I was driving and thinking about it the thought came into my head “Teach them correct principles and then they get to choose.”  I had been interpreting the quote the wrong way.  I had always thought it meant “teach them correct principles and then they will choose to do right.”  What an eye opener and game changer.  Yes, I could probably teach more clearly and be a better example but as I continued to do my best to teach good principles to live their lives by I was doing all I could.  The rest was and is up to them.