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Browsing Tag: Jesus Christ

Faith

A Little Bit of Martha and A Little Bit of Mary

posted on : November 1, 2019 posted by : Somethingsihavelearned 0 Comment

Lately I have been thinking about one of my favorite scripture stories. It is the story of Martha and Mary found in Luke 10:38-42. It’s really only a few verses but it’s a story that teaches much. The story starts with Martha receiving Christ into her home. She is busy getting food and her home ready to receive such a beloved guest. Her sister Mary is sitting at the feet of the Savior. It’s interesting to read,”Mary, which also sat at Jesus feet,” because it implies that Martha often is found there too. But this day, each is showing love in her own, but different way. Martha is fussing about making sure everything is perfect and Mary is spending time with Christ.

Then Martha asks Christ to intervene. She is unhappy that she is doing all the work while Mary gets to relax and just enjoy visiting, and she wants Christ to do something about it. Christ’s answer to her reflects several things. He recognizes Martha’s hard work and careful manner and thus He accepts her devoted service to Him.  He also tells her that how Mary is serving Him is good: “But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.” Mary’s devotion and display of love are clearly accepted by Christ.

For years it seemed to me that Christ was saying Mary’s way of showing love was better. I read it as Mary had chosen the better part, better than Martha. Then one day I noticed it said she had chosen the good part, not the better part. It didn’t say that Mary’s way was better. There was no comparison happening. Both ways were acceptable. Both ways were good. They were just different.

The problem was when Martha wanted Christ to tell Mary to help her. It was as if she was saying her way was better, she was judging. She didn’t recognize Mary’s efforts at demonstrating her love for Christ. Another problem was that she didn’t address Mary directly. So, not only was she judging, she also wasn’t taking responsibility for the herself or the situation. She was wanting someone else to solve the problem when she was quite capable of doing it. There are so many subtle elements to this story, and so many things I relate to.

I think one of the reasons I like this story is because I am sometimes Martha and sometimes Mary. When I’m Martha I’m often fussing around trying to make sure everything is perfect, usually with good intentions. I am showing my love through my food and service.  But sometimes I’m also thinking my way of doing something is better. Unfortunately, sometimes I judge others and their ways as inferior. It’s subtle and I don’t always recognize that’s what I’m doing, but it is what I am doing when I criticize someone else’s efforts, even if it’s just in my thoughts.

I can be Martha when I think my way of studying the scriptures is better, or how I discipline my children, or how I fulfill my calling. Any time I think my way of doing something is better than someone else I am being Martha. Sometimes I don’t want to deal with problems and I hope someone will fix things for me even though I’m quite capable of it. Just wave a magic wand so I can have my way.

In some ways I’m not painting a very pretty picture of Martha, which would not be accurate. This is only one side of her and the scriptures show her to be a faithful disciple. She was devoted to Christ, a woman of great faith. Martha wasn’t perfect but followed her Savior with complete trust. She was a worker and served others, and we need people like that. Where would we be without the doers of the world?

Sometimes though, I am also Mary, and my priorities are people I love. I concentrate on what’s important and try to keep it simple. My focus is on the Savior and I make Him my priority. I try harder to live with purpose and intention. But dinner does need to be fixed, and laundry done and children need to be tended. People need to show up at their jobs and lawns need to be mowed. As nice as it might be, I cannot spend all of my time studying the scriptures or reading conference talks.

Perhaps I am painting another inaccurate picture. The scriptures show Mary to be just as devoted to her Savior as Martha was, and undoubtedly she was a worker too. It seems Martha was used to Mary working alongside her in the kitchen and was upset when she wasn’t helping. Mary’s way of showing love and devotion was just different from Martha’s, each good and acceptable.

Ideally I would be a little bit of Martha and a little bit of Mary, or maybe Martha in some circumstances and Mary in others. Perhaps that is one of the lessons from this story. For me to serve and show love in my way and also let others do the same without judging. To recognize that Christ doesn’t compare me with anyone else. For me to also be just as devoted to my Savior as these two women were.

 

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/1987/01/mary-and-martha-faithful-sisters-devoted-disciples?lang=eng

 

Lessons Learned

Love is the Basis for Kindness

posted on : September 11, 2019 posted by : Somethingsihavelearned 2 Comments

I have a daughter who has many wonderful qualities. She’s kind, the first to volunteer to help others with their projects and she’s very thoughtful. She’s faithful to her covenants and works hard being a better disciple of Christ. On the other hand she’s not super organized or tidy. I have told her that being organized and tidy will make life go smoother and help her family run better, but it won’t get her into heaven. But kindness will, and she is one of the kindest people I know.

Kindness just makes life more enjoyable. It makes hard times better. It smooths over faults and leaves the recipient and giver both blessed. Kindness costs nothing but gives much. Simple acts of soft words returned for harsh, or even just ignoring meanness, creates peace and love. When I see people go out of their ways to be kind, it always touch me. Kindness warms peoples hearts and their lives.

My daughter often reaches out to others with her art, with kind words, or with friendship. She is simple in her acts of kindness. Once when she was a teenager we were at a restaurant. A child from another table came over and started talking to her. Eventually the child pulled a chair up to our table and the waitress brought his food to him and he ate with my daughter (his parents were at the neighboring table and gave permission). Mostly she just chatted with him but she was kind and he wanted to be with her. Children have always been drawn to her. I told her once that they must sense her inner goodness. She is a kind person and people are can see it in her face. Jesus Christ also reached out to others in kindness.

Joseph B. Wirthlin, who was a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, spoke on kindness in General Conference, in April 2005. He said,”Kindness is how a Christlike person treats others.” So often this is hard, especially when someone has been unkind to us. It is tempting to return harsh words for harsh words. It is difficult to be kind when someone has hurt us. And yet, Christ did it. He returned kindness for malice and hatred. He spent His life being kind.

“Jesus, our Savior, was the epitome of kindness and compassion. He healed the sick. He spent much of His time ministering to the one or many. He spoke compassionately to the Samaritan woman who was looked down upon by many. He instructed His disciples to allow the little children to come unto Him. He was kind to all who had sinned, condemning only the sin, not the sinner…Yet His greatest act of kindness was found in His atoning sacrifice, thus freeing all from the effects of death, and all from the effects of sin, on conditions of repentance,” said Elder Wirthlin. To be truly Christlike we need to be kind.

Elder Wirthlin continued:

“But,” you ask, “what if people are rude?” Love them.

“If they are obnoxious?” Love them.

“But what if they offend? Surely I must do something then?” Love them.

“Wayward?” The answer is the same. Be kind. Love them.”

I love these thoughts from Elder Wirthlin. Love is the basis of kindness. Christ loved others and He was kind. Our great task then, if we are to be disciples of Jesus Christ, would be to learn to love others and to develop kindness. It’s funny to me how love is the basis for every good thing, which is probably why loving our neighbor is the second great commandment.

There’s a short little poem I like by an anonymous author: “I have wept in the night, for shortness of sight, that to somebody’s needs made me blind; But I never have yet, felt a tinge of regret, for being a little too kind.” I have met many kind people who inspire me to be better, who help me want to be more kind. My daughter is one of them. She recently texted me synonyms for my name and told me that’s how she feels about me, and told me she love me. Such a simple thing to do. Such a kind thing to do. Her kindness warms my heart and life.

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/general-conference/2005/04/the-virtue-of-kindness?lang=eng

 

Faith,Lessons Learned

Not Looking Where I’m Going

posted on : August 29, 2019 posted by : Somethingsihavelearned 0 Comment

When I was a youngster I rode my bike almost every where I went. I loved the freedom it gave me. I really liked racing down the street with the wind in my face. I got really good at riding with no hands and felt really cool. So cool in fact, I thought I could ride my bike with no hands and my eyes closed. I let go of the handlebars, sat up straight and closed my eyes. Three-seconds later I was lying flat on my back on the grass with the wind knocked out of me. I had hit the concrete curb and flipped over the handlebars. I was really lucky I landed on grass instead of concrete. I remember looking around to see if anyone saw this really idiotic incident. I was more worried about someone seeing the stupid thing I did than actually the stupid thing I did. Why it didn’t occur to me that it was foolish and dangerous to ride withy eyes closed, I’ll never know. That was the first and last time I ever rode my bike with my eyes closed. Not looking where I am going is a dangerous thing.

I’ve noticed there are other ways I haven’t been looking where I am going too. Most days I get up and get my daughter off to school and do a little housework. With most of my kids grown and gone my life is simpler these days. So simple in fact that I noticed that I wander through each day without a real purpose, without a lot of direction.

In the past I was busy from when I got up to when I went to bed. It seemed there was hardly time to even breathe most days. It’s different now. I still have things to do and I am still busy but it occurred to me that I really don’t have a purpose, a direction to my life. I’ve been asking myself what do I really want to accomplish at this stage? What is it I really want to have happen. When I look back at my life in 10 years what will I wish I had done? I don’t just want to be busy. I want to be busy with something meaningful. I guess I’m trying not to go through the rest of my life with my eyes closed.

Finding my purpose in life at this stage of my existence is challenging. I want some overall sense of direction to each day. I think volunteer work is important and even meaningful but that is an action, a result of a goal or purpose. As I have sought for direction and continue to think about what is truly important, I have been reminded of a quote by Dieter F. Uchtdorf, a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. This comes from one of my all time favorite talks by him, entitled The Love of God.

“God the Eternal Father did not give that first great commandment because He needs us to love Him. His power and glory are not diminished should we disregard, deny, or even defile His name. His influence and dominion extend through time and space independent of our acceptance, approval, or admiration.

No, God does not need us to love Him. But oh, how we need to love God!

For what we love determines what we seek.

What we seek determines what we think and do.

What we think and do determines who we are—and who we will become.”

Dieter Uchtdorf, November 2009 Ensign

I have written before about trying to focus more on the first and great commandment found in Matthew 22:37, “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.” And it seems that all my roads lately keep leading back to this concept. To let the love of God, my love of God, be my focus and purpose seems to be calling to me. To have this concept as my goal and my guiding force. Then all things will make sense. Volunteer work, scripture study, serving others, family history and temple work and even house work will be done all because I love God. Getting up in the morning will be done with the purpose to learn to love God more fully and to demonstrate that love through my actions. To learn to have His will become my will.

This is something that is not easy for me because I am all too human. Sometimes I want what I want, not what God wants. But I keep thinking about what will I wish I had done 10 years from now. And so the personal battle goes on, the wrestle with myself.

In the same talk by Elder Uchtdorf, he talks about God’s love for us. I try to remember this even is sometimes I don’t feel it.

“God does not look on the outward appearance. I believe that He doesn’t care one bit if we live in a castle or a cottage, if we are handsome or homely, if we are famous or forgotten. Though we are incomplete, God loves us completely. Though we are imperfect, He loves us perfectly. Though we may feel lost and without compass, God’s love encompasses us completely.

He loves us because He is filled with an infinite measure of holy, pure, and indescribable love. We are important to God not because of our résumé but because we are His children. He loves every one of us, even those who are flawed, rejected, awkward, sorrowful, or broken. God’s love is so great that He loves even the proud, the selfish, the arrogant, and the wicked.

What this means is that, regardless of our current state, there is hope for us. No matter our distress, no matter our sorrow, no matter our mistakes, our infinitely compassionate Heavenly Father desires that we draw near to Him so that He can draw near to us.”

These beautiful words encourage me to look to my God. Even when I sometimes ride with my eyes closed, I need to remember He is always patient, He always loves me. He is rooting for me, not waiting for me to make a mistake. As I try to improve little by little I just need to keep my eyes open to focus more clearly where I am going.

 

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2009/11/the-love-of-god?lang=eng

 

Lessons Learned

“Mom, Don’t Beat Me!”

posted on : August 8, 2019 posted by : Somethingsihavelearned 0 Comment

When one of my daughters was little, we would race up the basement stairs to see who could get to the top first. Whoever won would shout out, “I beat you!” Being older and faster, I frequently won which caused my daughter to try even harder the next time. She got pretty fast on those stairs!

One time I was grocery shopping with this same daughter, who was 4 years old. She stopped to look at a cereal box as I continued walking. She finally noticed that I had made it to the end of the aisle. Fearing being left, she loudly shouted out, “Mom, don’t beat me.” I was sure the people three aisles over could hear her.  I was also sure that people really thought I was beating her and I was very embarrassed. I wanted to run to people and reassure them that I was not beating her. Honest!

It’s So Easy to Judge

Children give us lots of opportunities to be embarrassed, and to also have our actions misunderstood. This incident also reminds me that sometimes we hear something someone said and think we have a complete picture. We think we know exactly what is going on. It is so easy to judge the situation without having an understanding of what is really happening. And because we think we know, we make a judgement.

Before I ever had children I remember thinking, when I would see someone’s child misbehaving, that my children would never do that. I thought I would teach my children what to do and then they would do it (I’m sure all those who are parents are now laughing). Actually, being a spectator is a lot different from being a parent. And being a parent is certainly a lot harder than it looks on the outside.

The Merciful Obtain Mercy

There’s an expression I really like, “walk a mile in his shoes.” It conveys the idea that until we actually know someone’s heart and why they make the choices they do that we really can’t understand the situation. It teaches us not to assume or to judge. One of my favorite General Conference talks is by Dieter F. Uchtdorf, and is called The Merciful Obtain Mercy.

I loved it when he said, “This topic of judging others could actually be taught in a two-word sermon. When it comes to hating, gossiping, ignoring, ridiculing, holding grudges, or wanting to cause harm, please apply the following: Stop it!” He goes on to say, “It’s that simple. We simply have to stop judging others and replace judgmental thoughts and feelings with a heart full of love for God and His children.”

Years ago, any time when there was someone in my ward that I didn’t like very much I would be made her Visiting Teacher or she would be made mine. This happened several times over the years (obviously I had a lot to learn). Each time, it didn’t take long before I learned how wrong I was about that person. Most of the time we became friends, or at least I gained a greater understanding of her. God, in His mercy, gave me the opportunity to better learn not to judge.

There was one time I was someone’s Visiting Teacher and I was visiting with her and we were laughing about something when she suddenly stopped and said, “You’re a lot different from what I thought.” I hadn’t realized she had a negative impression of me, but we were able to become friends because we got to know each others hearts a little better and judge a little less.

Just “Stop It!”

The funny thing is we don’t want others judging us but somehow we think it’s okay for us to judge others! I’m not sure why we do this and I constantly need to remind myself that I don’t know someone’s motives, their reasoning or thought process. I really do want to be better at this and allow myself to have good thoughts about others. I want to do as President Uchtdorf said and “Stop it!” So, how do I do this?

So, How Do We Do This?

Dieter F. Uchtdorf gave us the solution to stop judging others . “The more we allow the love of God to govern our minds and emotions-the more we allow love for our Heavenly Father to swell within our  hearts-the easier it is to love others…In a world of accusations and unfriendliness, it is easy to gather and cast stones. But before we do so, let us remember the words of the One who is our Master and model: “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone.” Brothers and Sisters, let us put down our stones.” So basically, the more love we have for God, then the more love we will have for others and the less judging we will do.

For me, it always comes back to the scripture found in Matthew 22:37. “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all the heart, and with all thy soul and with all thy mind.” When we love God more than anything else, when we put God first, everything else falls into place in our lives. For me, this is my greatest challenge. Loving God more will help me put down my stones.

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2012/04/the-merciful-obtain-mercy?lang=eng

 

 

 

Faith

What a Daunting Task

posted on : July 29, 2019 posted by : Somethingsihavelearned 0 Comment

Elder Nelson, in the April 2017 General Conference, gave a talk about drawing the power of Jesus Christ into our lives. In it he talked about reading every reference to Jesus Christ listed in the topical guide. He spoke about how doing this had blessed his life.

I decided to take the challenge. It took me quite a while because there are 57 subtitles, but I read every scriptural passage listed. Then when I was rereading his talk, I noticed that he said to read every scripture in the topical guide about the Savior and underline them. Somehow I had missed the part about underlining the references.

So, I decided to reread all the of the scriptural references to Christ in the topical guide and this time, underline them. In some ways this reminded me of a story told by President Monson. This was before the Berlin Wall fell and East Germany was still under communist rule. Elder Monson was the General Authority over East Germany. He was lamenting to Elder Kimball about how he wished the leaders there could have a copy of the Church’s General Handbook of Instructions. Elder Kimball told him to memorize the handbook, go to Germany and type it for the leaders in Germany. What a daunting task!

But that’s just what he did. When he got to Germany he immediately asked for a typewriter and some paper. He had typed about 30 pages when he decided to take a break. While walking around the room he was startled to see the General Handbook on a shelf.  Not only was it the General Handbook, but it was in German. I’m sure he had a lot of mixed emotions over seeing the handbook lying on that shelf.

Some could say that all the work he put into memorizing the handbook had been needless. Some could point out that he should have had inspiration telling him it was unnecessary. But, I can see at least two benefits of memorizing the General Handbook. The first was he became an expert on church policy and procedure. Wherever he went he knew how to instruct those he was teaching concerning policy and procedures. Maybe the Lord needed him to know the book inside and out to help guide those he taught, especially because so many he worked with lived outside the United States.

The second benefit is that he was obedient to his church leaders. Elder Kimball, who was a senior apostle, told him to do it and he did. He didn’t question it. He didn’t say it wasn’t possible for him. He went to work and did it. Obedience strengthens the person and helps them qualify for blessings God wants to give them. God already knows what we will do. Sometimes we just need to prove to our own selves that we will be obedient.

So, back to my story of reading the references in the Topical Guide about Jesus Christ for the second time. It was a daunting task to do it again. Some could say I did it with the right spirit the first time, the second time was needless. Some could point out that I should have had inspiration to guide me while reading it the first time. I would have known then to underline the verses.

But, I can see at least two benefits from my reading it again and underlining the second time. The first is how much more I learned from the verses the second time through. There are some verses I don’t remember reading at all. As I was reading I remembered many verses from my first reading. Together the verses made more sense and tied things together better. I had a better sense of the mission of Jesus Christ and His role in our lives. Maybe the Lord just wanted me to gain a deeper understanding of Jesus Christ in my own life.

The second benefit is that I hope to be more obedient to my church leaders. Elder Nelson asked us to do this, and though I had to give myself a little pep talk about doing it a second time, I did it. Obedience strengthens me and helps me qualify for blessings God wants to give me. It also helped me see that in spite of my weaknesses, I really do want to be obedient. God already knows what I’m going to do, but sometimes I really need this reminder.

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2017/04/drawing-the-power-of-jesus-christ-into-our-lives?lang=eng

Faith,Life

Headaches and Migraines

posted on : July 19, 2019 posted by : Somethingsihavelearned 0 Comment

I have written many times before about how I have had migraines for many years. I had my first migraine when I was 21. At the time I didn’t know it was a migraine. I was shopping and all of a sudden my head really hurt, I felt a little nauseated and my eyes hurt. Aspirin had always helped with my previous headaches, so I went home and took two aspirin. I was surprised when aspirin didn’t help. I continued having headaches, and I continued taking aspirin, and I continued to be surprised when it didn’t help. Being a poor student I didn’t have any money so I didn’t go to the doctor about it.

I graduated from college, went to graduate school and got two Master’s Degrees, all the while having headaches. I met and married a wonderful man (he’s still wonderful!), and had two children. One day I was reading a magazine article about headaches and the descriptions of the different types of headaches. I was really surprised when my headaches fit the description of migraines. It had never occurred to me that they were migraines. I did go to the doctor about them but there was little they could do until I was through having children.

I continued to have debilitating migraines and the funny part about all of this is that it didn’t occur to me to pray about this problem. Of course I usually prayed for help with individual headaches, but overall it just didn’t occur to me to pray about it. I think I was thinking that everyone has something to deal with and this was just one of my things to deal with. For many years I stumbled through my days trying to deal with my responsibilities with children, a home, a husband and well, basically my life.

Fast forward several years when I was pregnant with my sixth child. For some reason I decided to pray about a way to treat them. I’m not sure what changed or why it finally occurred to me to do this. By this time I had been having migraines for 18 years, and yes, sometimes I’m a little slow.

I started asking for guidance in my prayers. I asked to be directed to find a way to treat the migraines when they happened. I even hoped that maybe I could find some way to prevent them. I prayed about this for several weeks. At this time I was serving in the Young Women’s presidency in my ward at church (Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints). We were having a presidency meeting when one of women in the meeting started talking about headaches she was having. Her doctor had told her to take an aspirin with a Coke and lie down for a while. When she said this I strongly had the Holy Ghost tell me to do this too.

Not being a Coke person I tried Pepsi with the aspirin. It worked! It worked fairly well most of the time. Sometimes it just dulled the pain and sometimes it didn’t work but this was the first thing I had tried that even came close to working. I did some research and found it was the caffeine in the Pepsi that worked so I switched to aspirin with a caffeine tablet. Later on I alternated between aspirin, acetaminophen and ibuprofen with the caffeine. This gave me the ability to function much better for several years. In hind sight I wish I had prayed about it many years sooner.

So the lesson I mostly learned from this experience is that God is often just waiting to bless us but that we need to ask Him. We need to humble ourselves, recognize that He is our Father in Heaven and ask (sometimes beg) for the blessings we need. We need to show our faith in Him by asking and then moving forward in faith knowing the blessing will come, when it’s the right time and in the right way. Sometimes this means it’s not the way or what we expected, but He will bless us. I recently read a talk in the May 2019 Ensign by Dale G. Renlund  about qualifying for blessings that God wants to give us. “Most blessings that God desires to give us require action on our part-action based on our faith in Jesus Christ. Faith in the Savior is a principle of action and of power,” said Elder Renlund.

Since then I have learned that sometimes I’m the one denying myself help from heaven because I haven’t asked for it. I have also learned to be more specific in my prayers, to ask with faith in Jesus Christ, and then watch for the hand of God in my life.

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2019/04/41renlund?lang=eng

 

Down syndrome,Faith

“I Really Want to Get Married”

posted on : July 5, 2019 posted by : Somethingsihavelearned 0 Comment

My daughter, who has Down syndrome, turned 18 last week. She proudly announced that she’s an adult now. She’s aware of a lot of things in life. She watches all the preteen shows on TV and Netflix and is a sucker for anything to do with romance. She oohs and aahs when there is a wedding in a show. She loves it when they hold hands and kiss. She dreams of her own wedding and finding her true love.

A few year ago we were driving in the car together. She was staring out the window and said, “I really want to get married.” She had said this many times before and has said it many times since. But, there was something in her voice that tugged at my heart that particular time. Even though she’s pretty bright, she’s not capable of being independent, let alone married. Getting married in this life is not in the cards for her.

I have told her that someday she will get married in heaven. She will have a beautiful wedding and her family will be there and she will be very happy. She asks me questions about it frequently. Questions like, “Will I have a beautiful dress?” “Will I have flowers?” “Who is going to be my husband?” I try to answer these questions honestly with the little knowledge I actually have about heaven. I tell her, “I’m sure you will have a beautiful gown.” I don’t know if she’ll have flowers but I have told her, “I’m sure your wedding will be just how you want it.” When she asks about her husband I tell her, “I don’t know who you are going to marry, but Heavenly Father does and I’m sure He has someone wonderful in mind for you.” She’ll clap her hands with joy at the prospect of it all, but really, these answers just satisfy her temporarily. She still wants to get married in this life.

She has seen her sisters and brothers get married. She has seen them having children, and she wants the same joy that creating a family brings. It seems to be inborn in her to want to find a true love, a soul mate. I tell her that not everyone gets married in this life, but that hasn’t deterred her. She really wants to get married.

I haven’t told her this because she’s really not capable of understanding it, but I have been thinking about how there are a lot of things people want in this life that will never happen. People have problems they would like solved. Some have health issues they would like cured. Many want to be free from addictions, have enough money to meet their needs, or have family problems go away. Some people yearn for children. I think we can look at society, the world at large, and want for things that seem like will never happen. All of us, in some way, want for something that will probably never happen.

That seems to be part of life. To recognize that there are things that will not be in this life, and to hope for better things in the world to come. How do we deal with life when it doesn’t give us what we want most? When our hearts seem to be breaking and our souls are stretched to their limits? For me, faith in Jesus Christ and hope in His promises are sometimes the only things that I can fall back on. I trust in His absolute knowledge and power. Joseph Smith said that to have faith in God we need to know and trust in the Nature and Character of God. We need to know that He loves us, is mindful of us and trust that He knows what is best. To know that He knows what is going on, and if we stay faithful despite our circumstances, He will make all things right. I love the scripture found in Revelations 21:4 which says, “And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying. neither shall there be any more pain…” And so, with this promise we go forward knowing that God always fulfills His promises. We go forward, knowing there are things that we want, that we will never have in his life.

My daughter will not marry in this life, she will not have what she wants most now. But I am sure she will marry in the next world. I am sure because I know and trust in the Nature and Character of God. He will wipe away her tears and hold her close, and her pain will be gone. She will have what the faithful inherit.

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2017/04/songs-sung-and-unsung?lang=eng

Lessons Learned

Making a Difference in the World

posted on : May 29, 2019 posted by : Somethingsihavelearned 0 Comment

Many years ago we had a freezer in our car port that I kept popsicles in. My kids could help themselves while they were playing outside with their friends on a hot, summer’s day. My children were generous and always offered their friends popsicles too, which was fine with me. One day I happened to look out the window to see neighborhood kids helping themselves to our popsicles. None of my kids were around.  I was upset that these children felt free to get popsicles without asking or being offered them by my children. Money was always tight for us. I am ashamed to say I thought, “How can we ever save money to feed the hungry and poor of the world when everyone just feels free to help themselves to the things in our freezer.” Instantly I had the thought come to me, “You are feeding the hungry and poor of the world.” I immediately saw the situation in a different way. These sweet little children came from good homes with very little in worldly terms. Their mother had severe health challenges and any extra money went to medical bills. Letting them eat popsicles from our freezer was nothing in the scheme of things but a small service to another of God’s children. I learned a great lesson that day.

Sometimes we think, as I did, that service is something we do on a grand scale or something involving a stranger or group of needy people. Sometimes it’s easy to forget that service can be little things to the people around us. I remember a talk given in General Conference in October 2017 by Bonnie Oscarson. She recounted the story of a women who had collected quilts and drove a truck, full of quilts, from London to Kosovo to deliver them. While driving home she received the following inspiration “What you have done is a very good thing. Now go home, walk across the street and serve your neighbor.” This concept teaches me to serve where and how I can, even if it just involves a popsicle.

There are so many different ways to help others. Over the years there have been several times when I have met someone and I felt like I was supposed to be her friend for a while, and that the friendship wouldn’t be long lasting. These were quiet impressions, but as I acted on them, and developed friendships with each of these women I could see the hand of the Lord operating through me to help them. None of the things that happened were grand or large in scale. Mostly it was just being a friend. But it demonstrated to me that God knows each of His children and loves them. Since I was willing, He used me to bless some else’s life. The really funny thing about this is that each time this happened I was strengthened in my testimony of God’s love for His children, and my own life was blessed. Our loving Heavenly Father, who knows everything, knows that the giver and the receiver are both blessed. Kind of like a two-for-one deal.

Since that popsicle experience many years ago I have learned that there are many ways to serve. I know now that the poor and hungry of the world are often in my own neighborhood, and that service doesn’t have to be big or grandiose. Little things, like letting a neighbor child enjoy a treat from a freezer also blesses the life of the one giving the service. That was over 23 years ago and I still feel a connection to that little boy who is now a man with his own children. When we have eyes to see and ears to hear He will guide us to those we can help. As we try to follow Him, as we try to serve, in some small way, as He did we will be blessed too. When we serve where and how we can we will be making a difference in the world and in our own lives.

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2017/10/the-needs-before-us?lang=eng

 

Life

Every Day Sayings and Expressions

posted on : May 22, 2019 posted by : Somethingsihavelearned 0 Comment

I grew up hearing a lot of  expressions that I don’t hear much any more. Things like “were you born in a barn?” if I left the door open. “You make a better door that you do a window” if I was standing in someone’s view of the TV. I often heard “you catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar” implying that I would get what I wanted easier with a kinder mouth. I heard that one a lot! Usually it was because I was being bossy, which is one of the problems with being the oldest child. My usual response to that one was “why would I want a bunch of flies anyway.” Obviously I was sometimes bossy and mouthy.

Sometimes these kind of expressions make no sense. “Don’t throw out the baby with the bath water” had me stumped for years until I realized it was saying don’t throw out the good with the bad. “The squeaky wheel gets the oil” helps people get their needs or wants met, but I usually replied, “yes, but it’s also the first one to be replaced.” Sometimes I had a problem with being told what to do too. Another saying that I heard frequently was “don’t count your chickens before they’re hatched” meaning don’t spend your money before you have it. All of these sayings communicate pretty clearly what the speaker wants you to know.

There are a lot of different expressions like these. And it makes me wonder how these expressions came about. Who makes up these expressions? How do they get started? So I looked up the ‘baby in the bath water’ expression and it originated in Germany in the 1500s and implied the concept of not discarding good ideas with bad ideas. It seems that some of these expressions have been around for a long time. One website I found had 1800 expressions and sayings with their explanations and histories. Who knew there were so many!

All of these sayings use common terms and concepts to communicate an idea. I wonder if these expressions originated to help people communicate ideas more clearly.  Humans communicating with humans is always an iffy thing. Sometimes I think I’ve said something very clearly with no room for misinterpretation. I find out later that the person (usually my husband) interpreted what I said in an entirely different way. Miscommunications happen so easily. Expressions can paint pictures in our minds, add reference points. These expressions might help someone understand more clearly what someone is trying to say-to get the point across.

In the bible we read that Christ often taught people using parables. These parables helped His listeners to understand His doctrine and teachings more clearly. Parables seem to be related to expressions that are in common to us, as they use ideas, concepts and cultural references to convey a message. Of course, some thought Christ was merely telling nice stories but the careful listener got the intended message. Maybe that’s the secret to really understanding the message of the speaker: careful listening. Sometimes I’m thinking of what I’m going to say back to someone instead of really focusing on what he or she is saying. I’m more interested in getting my message across instead of trying to understand another person.

So maybe I need to “strike while the iron is hot’ when someone is “spilling the beans” and “read between the lines.” Listening to someone really is a “labor of love.”

 

Lessons Learned

Imperfect Mothers and Mother’s Day

posted on : May 8, 2019 posted by : Somethingsihavelearned 0 Comment

Mother’s Day is almost here again. There are lots of different ways that people celebrate Mother’s Day. It is also a day that often evokes a lot of emotions as we think about our mothers, and also think about the hard work and sacrifices that raising children involves.

We often hear sermons in church meetings about those sacrifices and about the virtues of motherhood. And while motherhood truly is a divine calling, sometimes it is presented in an idealized version, and it’s hard for some women to feel like they measure up. Some may leave the meeting feeling a little sad or like a failure. I know in the past I have struggled with some of these feelings. Sometimes after these kind of talks I felt like I just needed to work harder, or listen better or even teach better. Of course I always needed more patience, and my lacking seemed so apparent.

Sometimes in the middle something it is hard to have perspective. Looking back I realize I did the best I could at the time. That involved good things and sometimes, not so good things.  Generally I am at peace about my mothering efforts.

So my goal here is not to paint a picture of a perfect mother because really, there is no such thing. I also don’t want to dwell on negative things. I do want to tell you about two women from the bible from whom I have learned some things.

The first one is Mary, the mother of Jesus Christ. I have always wondered how Christ knew who He was, even as a child. How did He know that He was the Savior of the World, The Only Begotten Son of our Heavenly Father? I pondered that for quite a while when one day it occurred to me that He would have learned it from his mother. She would have told Him of her experience with the angel and of His heavenly origins. It was she who taught Him who He was. Mary inspires me, and from her I have learned the importance of teaching my children who they are and what they are to become.

Another woman from the scriptures that I admire is Eve. I think about her bearing children without a mother or another woman there to help her. How lonely and hard it must have been to not have had another woman to talk things over with and to learn from. She had no precedence-no guide books to baby care, no how-to-survive a teenager manual and no one to guide her on parenting. It really was a learn-as-you-go situation. It was just Adam and Eve working as a team and trying to figure it out together. From Eve I learn that I can keep on mothering even when I don’t have a clue what I’m doing, and trying to figure it out. I also learn the importance of working as a full partnership with my husband.

There are other things I have learned from these two women, as well as other women in the scriptures. I don’t think either of these two women were perfect, even though they were both really good women. Since there is no such thing as a perfect mother, they obviously weren’t that either. From Mary, Eve and also the many good women in my life, I have learned is that you don’t have to be perfect to be a good mother. There are many ways to be a good mom and I bet you’re doing better than you think.