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Browsing Tag: good example

Church,Faith,Family,Lessons Learned

A Love For The Scriptures

posted on : November 30, 2018 posted by : Somethingsihavelearned 0 Comment

I grew up in California and we had early morning church classes called seminary to attend.  I am not an early morning person and rarely attended the classes.  Since I didn’t go very often I didn’t graduate from seminary. Not only that but I was so busy with classes and life while in college, I didn’t make reading my scriptures and studying the gospel the priority it should have been.  I did have religion classes and did the course work but it wasn’t a whole-hearted effort. Then of course I found out what busy really was as a mother with lots of children.  I rarely found time to read and study the scriptures unless I had a class to teach at church.  Unfortunately I didn’t really start studying the scriptures and the gospel until I was in my early 40’s.  I still had lots of children to care for and migraines to deal with so what made the difference?  I had a dear friend who loved the scriptures.  She loved to study the words of the prophets and ponder on the meanings of them.  She thoroughly enjoyed exploring the scriptures and the doctrines of the gospel, and she took great joy in them!  She demonstrated a zest and love for the gospel and I wanted to have the same love and feelings for the scriptures that she did.  I wanted to be able to apply the teaching of the scriptures to my life too.  I wanted to have the scriptural knowledge that she had.  She inspired me and so I began a journey into gospel learning that has greatly blessed and influenced my life for good.  In the last 20 years, as I have studied the scriptures and the words of the prophets, my knowledge and gospel confidence has increased greatly.  As I have applied the teachings of the gospel in my life I have been greatly enriched.  Her example influenced me and created a yearning in my heart to truly love the scriptures.

Recently there have been changes in church procedures announced. We now have before us in the church a refocus on home centered gospel teaching, supported by teaching in classes at church.  Lately during church classes I have listened to many women express their concerns about being able to adequately teach their children the gospel in their homes. They feel pressure to help their children learn the scriptures and gospel doctrines, and help them acquire testimonies.  Even though I no longer have young children in my home I remember the same feelings and the urgency I felt at helping my children to know the scriptures. Because of that we made sure we did family scriptures and prayer nightly, and Family Home Evening weekly.  We always had the mechanics of it in place but sometimes I treated it as an ordeal to get through rather than a joyful thing. I spent too much time trying to endure the process of reading the scriptures with my children rather than just enjoying the time learning together.  Now I can see that if I had transmitted my love for the scriptures and gospel learning as a joyful blessing instead of an ordeal that perhaps my children would have sensed my love for the scriptures and wanted that same love for them in their lives. Treating scripture time as an opportunity and joyful thing would have taught just as much as the actual reading of them.  It would have taught that scriptures are a thing to be treasured and that reading them brings joy into your lives. If I had any advice for parents who are concerned about the refocus on home centered learning it would be to love the scriptures yourself and just enjoy the learning and teaching time with your family. Your children will see the blessings in your life from scripture study and gospel learning and want the same blessings in their lives, even though it may not be until they are a little older.

I think of my friend and her influence on me and how I wanted the same experiences she had, I wanted to love the scriptures like she did.  Her example changed my life forever.

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2018/10/deep-and-lasting-conversion-to-heavenly-father-and-the-lord-jesus-christ?lang=eng

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2004/04/with-all-the-feeling-of-a-tender-parent-a-message-of-hope-to-families?lang=eng

 

 

Husband,Parenting

Dads I Have Known

posted on : June 14, 2018 posted by : Somethingsihavelearned 0 Comment

My mother and father divorced when I was about 3 and I never saw my father again except once, and even then I didn’t know who he was at the time.  I was about 13 and visiting my grandmother and as I was walking up the path to her house a man was coming out of her front door.  He passed by me without looking at me or saying anything and I barely paid attention to him.  When I entered my grandmother’s trailer she said “that was your father” and I remember thinking that if I had known that I would have paid more attention to him.  I’m not sure why he wasn’t a part of my life but my mother once said that she and my stepfather told my father that he didn’t have to pay child support if he never contacted me or my brother again, and since he didn’t contact us again he obviously thought that was a good deal.  My mother had married again to a man I called dad and he’s the only dad I remember.  While he was not the best husband or dad, I did learn from him to treat all children as equal.  He never distinguished between my brother and me and the children he had with my mother.  He and my mother divorced when I was about 10 and sometimes was involved in our lives.  My dad had married again and his new wife once apologized to us for keeping my dad from being involved in our lives.  She said she found reasons to keep him from visiting us and eventually realized that was wrong.  I say all of this as a way of stating I didn’t have good dads.  When I married a really good man I was lucky and also got a really good father-in-law.  He was a kind, tender-hearted man who called me daughter, not daughter-in-law.  He brought me produce from his garden and orchard, and after he went fishing he would call us to come for a fish dinner with fresh corn and tomatoes from his garden.  Once when I visited him in the hospital he teared up when I came into the room and told me he loved me and kept saying how glad he was that I came to visit him.  I felt like he loved me.  He was such a kind man, and I once told him he was the best dad I ever had and he couldn’t believe I said that.  He kept saying “really?, really?”  My husband remembers being quite young and his dad building a tent out of a blanket and reading Bambi to him under the blanket with a flashlight, one of his sweet memories of his father.  Family meant everything to my father-in-law!  From this good man I learned that dads can be involved in their children’s lives and what a difference it makes to welcome and love those your children marry.  I also learned that there are good, honorable fathers in the world who love their children and spend time with them.  My husband has followed in the footsteps of his father and he is a good dad who loves our children.  He has worked hard to provide them the necessities of life, and to set a good example of service, kindness, hard work, faith, generosity and love.  Our children know they can talk with their dad about anything and he won’t scold them but listen and offer good advice when asked for.  They know him to be man of integrity who would do anything he can to help them.  I have learned from him to patiently listen, to act and not react, to focus on the good our children are doing and to always take the long view and hope for the best.  In many ways I am fortunate not to have had good dads while I was growing up because I now recognize what a good dad is from the contrast.  I have told my children many times that they are fortunate to have such a good dad!  Sometimes my husband wonders about things he could have or should have done with our children.  I see the many good things he did do and his goodness as a father is reflected in the lives of our children who are good people doing good things.  Being a good dad is giving of your time, self and life to your children.  How blessed I am to know good dads and to have them in my life!