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Browsing Tag: goals

Faith,Lessons Learned

Not Looking Where I’m Going

posted on : August 29, 2019 posted by : Somethingsihavelearned 0 Comment

When I was a youngster I rode my bike almost every where I went. I loved the freedom it gave me. I really liked racing down the street with the wind in my face. I got really good at riding with no hands and felt really cool. So cool in fact, I thought I could ride my bike with no hands and my eyes closed. I let go of the handlebars, sat up straight and closed my eyes. Three-seconds later I was lying flat on my back on the grass with the wind knocked out of me. I had hit the concrete curb and flipped over the handlebars. I was really lucky I landed on grass instead of concrete. I remember looking around to see if anyone saw this really idiotic incident. I was more worried about someone seeing the stupid thing I did than actually the stupid thing I did. Why it didn’t occur to me that it was foolish and dangerous to ride withy eyes closed, I’ll never know. That was the first and last time I ever rode my bike with my eyes closed. Not looking where I am going is a dangerous thing.

I’ve noticed there are other ways I haven’t been looking where I am going too. Most days I get up and get my daughter off to school and do a little housework. With most of my kids grown and gone my life is simpler these days. So simple in fact that I noticed that I wander through each day without a real purpose, without a lot of direction.

In the past I was busy from when I got up to when I went to bed. It seemed there was hardly time to even breathe most days. It’s different now. I still have things to do and I am still busy but it occurred to me that I really don’t have a purpose, a direction to my life. I’ve been asking myself what do I really want to accomplish at this stage? What is it I really want to have happen. When I look back at my life in 10 years what will I wish I had done? I don’t just want to be busy. I want to be busy with something meaningful. I guess I’m trying not to go through the rest of my life with my eyes closed.

Finding my purpose in life at this stage of my existence is challenging. I want some overall sense of direction to each day. I think volunteer work is important and even meaningful but that is an action, a result of a goal or purpose. As I have sought for direction and continue to think about what is truly important, I have been reminded of a quote by Dieter F. Uchtdorf, a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. This comes from one of my all time favorite talks by him, entitled The Love of God.

“God the Eternal Father did not give that first great commandment because He needs us to love Him. His power and glory are not diminished should we disregard, deny, or even defile His name. His influence and dominion extend through time and space independent of our acceptance, approval, or admiration.

No, God does not need us to love Him. But oh, how we need to love God!

For what we love determines what we seek.

What we seek determines what we think and do.

What we think and do determines who we are—and who we will become.”

Dieter Uchtdorf, November 2009 Ensign

I have written before about trying to focus more on the first and great commandment found in Matthew 22:37, “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.” And it seems that all my roads lately keep leading back to this concept. To let the love of God, my love of God, be my focus and purpose seems to be calling to me. To have this concept as my goal and my guiding force. Then all things will make sense. Volunteer work, scripture study, serving others, family history and temple work and even house work will be done all because I love God. Getting up in the morning will be done with the purpose to learn to love God more fully and to demonstrate that love through my actions. To learn to have His will become my will.

This is something that is not easy for me because I am all too human. Sometimes I want what I want, not what God wants. But I keep thinking about what will I wish I had done 10 years from now. And so the personal battle goes on, the wrestle with myself.

In the same talk by Elder Uchtdorf, he talks about God’s love for us. I try to remember this even is sometimes I don’t feel it.

“God does not look on the outward appearance. I believe that He doesn’t care one bit if we live in a castle or a cottage, if we are handsome or homely, if we are famous or forgotten. Though we are incomplete, God loves us completely. Though we are imperfect, He loves us perfectly. Though we may feel lost and without compass, God’s love encompasses us completely.

He loves us because He is filled with an infinite measure of holy, pure, and indescribable love. We are important to God not because of our résumé but because we are His children. He loves every one of us, even those who are flawed, rejected, awkward, sorrowful, or broken. God’s love is so great that He loves even the proud, the selfish, the arrogant, and the wicked.

What this means is that, regardless of our current state, there is hope for us. No matter our distress, no matter our sorrow, no matter our mistakes, our infinitely compassionate Heavenly Father desires that we draw near to Him so that He can draw near to us.”

These beautiful words encourage me to look to my God. Even when I sometimes ride with my eyes closed, I need to remember He is always patient, He always loves me. He is rooting for me, not waiting for me to make a mistake. As I try to improve little by little I just need to keep my eyes open to focus more clearly where I am going.

 

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2009/11/the-love-of-god?lang=eng

 

Lessons Learned

Dream Big, Work Hard

posted on : September 13, 2018 posted by : Somethingsihavelearned 0 Comment

When I was in my early 20’s I saw a sign that said “A Dreamer Lives Forever” and I thought it was a great saying.  I did little doodles with this saying and put them on my wall, and I felt it was profound. Currently there are similar signs that say things like “Dream Big” or “Live Your Dreams” and other similar thoughts, but now I think the sayings are a little incomplete.  Dreaming is only one part of the equation.  Without work or effort dreams amounts to very little, as well as efforts without dreams also don’t mean much.  Thomas S. Monson had a saying that I particularly like, from a talk he gave in 1989. “Vision without effort is daydreaming, effort without vision is drudgery; but vision, coupled with effort, will obtain the prize.”  I like this saying because there was a time when it seemed that all I did was work, work, work!  I was always tired and it felt like my life was drudgery as I went from one thing to the next.  When I read this quote I realized what was missing: vision.  I was working hard without a vision of why I was expending so much effort.  I did some pondering about why I was working so hard, raising my children and keeping up my home, trying to be a good wife and a good person.  I thought about what my purpose was not only as a wife and mother but as a person and a child of God.  I thought about why I was here on this earth and basically, what my goals in life were.  It took me a while but slowly I started to look at things differently.  I’d like to say that all the hard work went away but it didn’t and sometimes I didn’t keep my vision in the forefront of my thinking so sometimes it still seemed like drudgery. But my attitude and thinking did improve and at least I knew why I was doing all that hard work.  Over the years I have gotten better at keeping my vision, my goals in my mind.  Even now, with only one child at home, when life is easier, I still need to have vision and goals.  I still need to know why I’m doing what I’m doing.  Dreaming is good, and combining it with effort will win the prize.

https://www.lds.org/ensign/1989/06/finishers-wanted?lang=eng

Faith,Lessons Learned

Spiders and Other Distractions

posted on : July 19, 2018 posted by : Somethingsihavelearned 2 Comments

I have a friend who told me a story of how she was once driving down the street when a spider dangled down from the ceiling of her car in front of her steering wheel. She started swiping at the spider trying to get it out of her way without any luck and it kept flying back and forth in front of her while she’s shrieking and panicking.  Meanwhile she’s still driving down the street and naturally ran into something because she was no longer paying attention to where she was going.  As she tells it she let herself become distracted from what was important by something that was unimportant.  Unfortunately I do this all too often and even though I know what my goals are, what I need to be doing to achieve them, I focus on unimportant things such as playing games on my iPad or watching too much TV.  It is so easy when I want a break to play a game for a few minutes that turns out to be for a couple of hours.  What I could have been doing instead!  Joseph Smith said in 1842, as quoted by Wilford Woodruff, that “a man is saved no faster than he gets knowledge.”  There is so much that I do not know and not just about the gospel of Jesus Christ.  There are so many relationships to foster, so many people I could be helping, and family history to be done but it is easier to play games or to watch TV.  Easier does not lead to better!  Every time I channel my efforts to discipline myself and do something worthwhile I increase my strength and ability to do more worthwhile things.  My capacity is enlarged and I become more than I was before, and I develop more self-discipline.  Distractions from things that are important leave me feeling wanting even though they are momentarily fun.  As I work to become more focused on the important things of life I find that my desire for the unimportant diminishes.  I do better and feel better, and slowly become better.

 

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2014/10/choose-wisely?lang=eng

Lessons Learned,Life

Motorcycles and Life

posted on : April 2, 2018 posted by : Somethingsihavelearned 0 Comment

Many years ago I had a friend who rode his motorcycle from Minnesota to Provo, Utah to go to school at BYU.  He did it to save money on gas and to get his bike to school, and he said that while he was driving to school no matter what was going on he had to stay on the bike. He rode in rain, wind, heat as well as pleasant weather. He rode when cars passed him and splashed water or mud on him.  He rode when his body was stiff and sore and he was tired of sitting on the bike, and when he wanted to sightsee.  His goal was to get to school in a certain time frame so he had to keep on riding no matter what.  Obviously I have thought about that over the years and how it compares to life, and even though I don’t have the same time crunch, I really need to keep on going no matter the circumstances, no matter what life throws at me.  Of course sometimes it’s a pleasant ride and life seems good. But sometimes life is hard and I would like to curl up in a ball and hide until it’s all better. Sometimes it’s not going to get better soon, so I need to remember my goals and where I am going, I need to keep making good choices and loving people, I need to stay on the bike.

 

 

Lessons Learned

Goals

posted on : February 5, 2018 posted by : Somethingsihavelearned 0 Comment

I was reading my journal and came across some goals I had set in January 2012, six years ago.  I guess I had been reading a book by Elaine Dalton that said “Our vision of the future will help us press forward. As we prepare to succeed in this marathon of mortal life, we might like to start by taking a few minutes to envision where we want to be in one year or two or five.”  I wrote about how I had no vision of the future, or goals or anything I was working towards, mostly I was in day-to-day survival mode.  She said to take a few minutes to think about it, I took several months. When I finally came up with some goals I had them divided into 4 categories: physical, spiritual, mental and emotional.  I had two or three goals and methods under each category. I felt pretty good about this and went to work and I diligently pursued my goals.  I found that mostly what I was doing in my life was working on goal stuff and even though they were good goals and worthwhile pursuits, it was way too much!  I was overwhelmed and of course had set myself up for failure.  Who has time to pursue that many goals with several children still at home, callings and household responsibilities?  Actually, who has time to pursue that many goals even without all of those other responsibilities?  This year I have set one goal, just one goal and I have found that actively trying to achieve that goal is enough especially as I put effort into it and see a little progress.

Parenting

All Singing the Same Song

posted on : December 9, 2017 posted by : Somethingsihavelearned 2 Comments

One Monday evening, when we were doing Family Home Evening, we were singing “I am a Child of God.” My eight children and my husband and myself were singing but each one was singing in a different key, different pace and different style.  Some finished before others singing with great volume and flair while others were singing softly at their own pace, and some were actually singing the song the way it was written to be sung.  It created a great, amazing cacophony.  As I looked around and listened to the sound it occurred to me that this was a perfect analogy for my family.  We were all singing the same song-our family goals are basically the same, but each one is singing the song in his or her own way adding to our very imperfect choir, his or her sound. Each voice is valued and important to the choir just like they are to our family.  We love each one of our children and his or her unique personality and value the contribution they make to our family, even if sometimes one of us is singing off key!