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Browsing Tag: General Conference

Faith,Lessons Learned

Not Looking Where I’m Going

posted on : August 29, 2019 posted by : Somethingsihavelearned 0 Comment

When I was a youngster I rode my bike almost every where I went. I loved the freedom it gave me. I really liked racing down the street with the wind in my face. I got really good at riding with no hands and felt really cool. So cool in fact, I thought I could ride my bike with no hands and my eyes closed. I let go of the handlebars, sat up straight and closed my eyes. Three-seconds later I was lying flat on my back on the grass with the wind knocked out of me. I had hit the concrete curb and flipped over the handlebars. I was really lucky I landed on grass instead of concrete. I remember looking around to see if anyone saw this really idiotic incident. I was more worried about someone seeing the stupid thing I did than actually the stupid thing I did. Why it didn’t occur to me that it was foolish and dangerous to ride withy eyes closed, I’ll never know. That was the first and last time I ever rode my bike with my eyes closed. Not looking where I am going is a dangerous thing.

I’ve noticed there are other ways I haven’t been looking where I am going too. Most days I get up and get my daughter off to school and do a little housework. With most of my kids grown and gone my life is simpler these days. So simple in fact that I noticed that I wander through each day without a real purpose, without a lot of direction.

In the past I was busy from when I got up to when I went to bed. It seemed there was hardly time to even breathe most days. It’s different now. I still have things to do and I am still busy but it occurred to me that I really don’t have a purpose, a direction to my life. I’ve been asking myself what do I really want to accomplish at this stage? What is it I really want to have happen. When I look back at my life in 10 years what will I wish I had done? I don’t just want to be busy. I want to be busy with something meaningful. I guess I’m trying not to go through the rest of my life with my eyes closed.

Finding my purpose in life at this stage of my existence is challenging. I want some overall sense of direction to each day. I think volunteer work is important and even meaningful but that is an action, a result of a goal or purpose. As I have sought for direction and continue to think about what is truly important, I have been reminded of a quote by Dieter F. Uchtdorf, a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. This comes from one of my all time favorite talks by him, entitled The Love of God.

“God the Eternal Father did not give that first great commandment because He needs us to love Him. His power and glory are not diminished should we disregard, deny, or even defile His name. His influence and dominion extend through time and space independent of our acceptance, approval, or admiration.

No, God does not need us to love Him. But oh, how we need to love God!

For what we love determines what we seek.

What we seek determines what we think and do.

What we think and do determines who we are—and who we will become.”

Dieter Uchtdorf, November 2009 Ensign

I have written before about trying to focus more on the first and great commandment found in Matthew 22:37, “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.” And it seems that all my roads lately keep leading back to this concept. To let the love of God, my love of God, be my focus and purpose seems to be calling to me. To have this concept as my goal and my guiding force. Then all things will make sense. Volunteer work, scripture study, serving others, family history and temple work and even house work will be done all because I love God. Getting up in the morning will be done with the purpose to learn to love God more fully and to demonstrate that love through my actions. To learn to have His will become my will.

This is something that is not easy for me because I am all too human. Sometimes I want what I want, not what God wants. But I keep thinking about what will I wish I had done 10 years from now. And so the personal battle goes on, the wrestle with myself.

In the same talk by Elder Uchtdorf, he talks about God’s love for us. I try to remember this even is sometimes I don’t feel it.

“God does not look on the outward appearance. I believe that He doesn’t care one bit if we live in a castle or a cottage, if we are handsome or homely, if we are famous or forgotten. Though we are incomplete, God loves us completely. Though we are imperfect, He loves us perfectly. Though we may feel lost and without compass, God’s love encompasses us completely.

He loves us because He is filled with an infinite measure of holy, pure, and indescribable love. We are important to God not because of our résumé but because we are His children. He loves every one of us, even those who are flawed, rejected, awkward, sorrowful, or broken. God’s love is so great that He loves even the proud, the selfish, the arrogant, and the wicked.

What this means is that, regardless of our current state, there is hope for us. No matter our distress, no matter our sorrow, no matter our mistakes, our infinitely compassionate Heavenly Father desires that we draw near to Him so that He can draw near to us.”

These beautiful words encourage me to look to my God. Even when I sometimes ride with my eyes closed, I need to remember He is always patient, He always loves me. He is rooting for me, not waiting for me to make a mistake. As I try to improve little by little I just need to keep my eyes open to focus more clearly where I am going.

 

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2009/11/the-love-of-god?lang=eng

 

Lessons Learned

“Mom, Don’t Beat Me!”

posted on : August 8, 2019 posted by : Somethingsihavelearned 0 Comment

When one of my daughters was little, we would race up the basement stairs to see who could get to the top first. Whoever won would shout out, “I beat you!” Being older and faster, I frequently won which caused my daughter to try even harder the next time. She got pretty fast on those stairs!

One time I was grocery shopping with this same daughter, who was 4 years old. She stopped to look at a cereal box as I continued walking. She finally noticed that I had made it to the end of the aisle. Fearing being left, she loudly shouted out, “Mom, don’t beat me.” I was sure the people three aisles over could hear her.  I was also sure that people really thought I was beating her and I was very embarrassed. I wanted to run to people and reassure them that I was not beating her. Honest!

It’s So Easy to Judge

Children give us lots of opportunities to be embarrassed, and to also have our actions misunderstood. This incident also reminds me that sometimes we hear something someone said and think we have a complete picture. We think we know exactly what is going on. It is so easy to judge the situation without having an understanding of what is really happening. And because we think we know, we make a judgement.

Before I ever had children I remember thinking, when I would see someone’s child misbehaving, that my children would never do that. I thought I would teach my children what to do and then they would do it (I’m sure all those who are parents are now laughing). Actually, being a spectator is a lot different from being a parent. And being a parent is certainly a lot harder than it looks on the outside.

The Merciful Obtain Mercy

There’s an expression I really like, “walk a mile in his shoes.” It conveys the idea that until we actually know someone’s heart and why they make the choices they do that we really can’t understand the situation. It teaches us not to assume or to judge. One of my favorite General Conference talks is by Dieter F. Uchtdorf, and is called The Merciful Obtain Mercy.

I loved it when he said, “This topic of judging others could actually be taught in a two-word sermon. When it comes to hating, gossiping, ignoring, ridiculing, holding grudges, or wanting to cause harm, please apply the following: Stop it!” He goes on to say, “It’s that simple. We simply have to stop judging others and replace judgmental thoughts and feelings with a heart full of love for God and His children.”

Years ago, any time when there was someone in my ward that I didn’t like very much I would be made her Visiting Teacher or she would be made mine. This happened several times over the years (obviously I had a lot to learn). Each time, it didn’t take long before I learned how wrong I was about that person. Most of the time we became friends, or at least I gained a greater understanding of her. God, in His mercy, gave me the opportunity to better learn not to judge.

There was one time I was someone’s Visiting Teacher and I was visiting with her and we were laughing about something when she suddenly stopped and said, “You’re a lot different from what I thought.” I hadn’t realized she had a negative impression of me, but we were able to become friends because we got to know each others hearts a little better and judge a little less.

Just “Stop It!”

The funny thing is we don’t want others judging us but somehow we think it’s okay for us to judge others! I’m not sure why we do this and I constantly need to remind myself that I don’t know someone’s motives, their reasoning or thought process. I really do want to be better at this and allow myself to have good thoughts about others. I want to do as President Uchtdorf said and “Stop it!” So, how do I do this?

So, How Do We Do This?

Dieter F. Uchtdorf gave us the solution to stop judging others . “The more we allow the love of God to govern our minds and emotions-the more we allow love for our Heavenly Father to swell within our  hearts-the easier it is to love others…In a world of accusations and unfriendliness, it is easy to gather and cast stones. But before we do so, let us remember the words of the One who is our Master and model: “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone.” Brothers and Sisters, let us put down our stones.” So basically, the more love we have for God, then the more love we will have for others and the less judging we will do.

For me, it always comes back to the scripture found in Matthew 22:37. “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all the heart, and with all thy soul and with all thy mind.” When we love God more than anything else, when we put God first, everything else falls into place in our lives. For me, this is my greatest challenge. Loving God more will help me put down my stones.

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2012/04/the-merciful-obtain-mercy?lang=eng

 

 

 

Faith

What a Daunting Task

posted on : July 29, 2019 posted by : Somethingsihavelearned 0 Comment

Elder Nelson, in the April 2017 General Conference, gave a talk about drawing the power of Jesus Christ into our lives. In it he talked about reading every reference to Jesus Christ listed in the topical guide. He spoke about how doing this had blessed his life.

I decided to take the challenge. It took me quite a while because there are 57 subtitles, but I read every scriptural passage listed. Then when I was rereading his talk, I noticed that he said to read every scripture in the topical guide about the Savior and underline them. Somehow I had missed the part about underlining the references.

So, I decided to reread all the of the scriptural references to Christ in the topical guide and this time, underline them. In some ways this reminded me of a story told by President Monson. This was before the Berlin Wall fell and East Germany was still under communist rule. Elder Monson was the General Authority over East Germany. He was lamenting to Elder Kimball about how he wished the leaders there could have a copy of the Church’s General Handbook of Instructions. Elder Kimball told him to memorize the handbook, go to Germany and type it for the leaders in Germany. What a daunting task!

But that’s just what he did. When he got to Germany he immediately asked for a typewriter and some paper. He had typed about 30 pages when he decided to take a break. While walking around the room he was startled to see the General Handbook on a shelf.  Not only was it the General Handbook, but it was in German. I’m sure he had a lot of mixed emotions over seeing the handbook lying on that shelf.

Some could say that all the work he put into memorizing the handbook had been needless. Some could point out that he should have had inspiration telling him it was unnecessary. But, I can see at least two benefits of memorizing the General Handbook. The first was he became an expert on church policy and procedure. Wherever he went he knew how to instruct those he was teaching concerning policy and procedures. Maybe the Lord needed him to know the book inside and out to help guide those he taught, especially because so many he worked with lived outside the United States.

The second benefit is that he was obedient to his church leaders. Elder Kimball, who was a senior apostle, told him to do it and he did. He didn’t question it. He didn’t say it wasn’t possible for him. He went to work and did it. Obedience strengthens the person and helps them qualify for blessings God wants to give them. God already knows what we will do. Sometimes we just need to prove to our own selves that we will be obedient.

So, back to my story of reading the references in the Topical Guide about Jesus Christ for the second time. It was a daunting task to do it again. Some could say I did it with the right spirit the first time, the second time was needless. Some could point out that I should have had inspiration to guide me while reading it the first time. I would have known then to underline the verses.

But, I can see at least two benefits from my reading it again and underlining the second time. The first is how much more I learned from the verses the second time through. There are some verses I don’t remember reading at all. As I was reading I remembered many verses from my first reading. Together the verses made more sense and tied things together better. I had a better sense of the mission of Jesus Christ and His role in our lives. Maybe the Lord just wanted me to gain a deeper understanding of Jesus Christ in my own life.

The second benefit is that I hope to be more obedient to my church leaders. Elder Nelson asked us to do this, and though I had to give myself a little pep talk about doing it a second time, I did it. Obedience strengthens me and helps me qualify for blessings God wants to give me. It also helped me see that in spite of my weaknesses, I really do want to be obedient. God already knows what I’m going to do, but sometimes I really need this reminder.

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2017/04/drawing-the-power-of-jesus-christ-into-our-lives?lang=eng

Lessons Learned

Making a Difference in the World

posted on : May 29, 2019 posted by : Somethingsihavelearned 0 Comment

Many years ago we had a freezer in our car port that I kept popsicles in. My kids could help themselves while they were playing outside with their friends on a hot, summer’s day. My children were generous and always offered their friends popsicles too, which was fine with me. One day I happened to look out the window to see neighborhood kids helping themselves to our popsicles. None of my kids were around.  I was upset that these children felt free to get popsicles without asking or being offered them by my children. Money was always tight for us. I am ashamed to say I thought, “How can we ever save money to feed the hungry and poor of the world when everyone just feels free to help themselves to the things in our freezer.” Instantly I had the thought come to me, “You are feeding the hungry and poor of the world.” I immediately saw the situation in a different way. These sweet little children came from good homes with very little in worldly terms. Their mother had severe health challenges and any extra money went to medical bills. Letting them eat popsicles from our freezer was nothing in the scheme of things but a small service to another of God’s children. I learned a great lesson that day.

Sometimes we think, as I did, that service is something we do on a grand scale or something involving a stranger or group of needy people. Sometimes it’s easy to forget that service can be little things to the people around us. I remember a talk given in General Conference in October 2017 by Bonnie Oscarson. She recounted the story of a women who had collected quilts and drove a truck, full of quilts, from London to Kosovo to deliver them. While driving home she received the following inspiration “What you have done is a very good thing. Now go home, walk across the street and serve your neighbor.” This concept teaches me to serve where and how I can, even if it just involves a popsicle.

There are so many different ways to help others. Over the years there have been several times when I have met someone and I felt like I was supposed to be her friend for a while, and that the friendship wouldn’t be long lasting. These were quiet impressions, but as I acted on them, and developed friendships with each of these women I could see the hand of the Lord operating through me to help them. None of the things that happened were grand or large in scale. Mostly it was just being a friend. But it demonstrated to me that God knows each of His children and loves them. Since I was willing, He used me to bless some else’s life. The really funny thing about this is that each time this happened I was strengthened in my testimony of God’s love for His children, and my own life was blessed. Our loving Heavenly Father, who knows everything, knows that the giver and the receiver are both blessed. Kind of like a two-for-one deal.

Since that popsicle experience many years ago I have learned that there are many ways to serve. I know now that the poor and hungry of the world are often in my own neighborhood, and that service doesn’t have to be big or grandiose. Little things, like letting a neighbor child enjoy a treat from a freezer also blesses the life of the one giving the service. That was over 23 years ago and I still feel a connection to that little boy who is now a man with his own children. When we have eyes to see and ears to hear He will guide us to those we can help. As we try to follow Him, as we try to serve, in some small way, as He did we will be blessed too. When we serve where and how we can we will be making a difference in the world and in our own lives.

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2017/10/the-needs-before-us?lang=eng

 

Children,Lessons Learned

I Hate Getting Up Early

posted on : February 16, 2019 posted by : Somethingsihavelearned 2 Comments

I am not a morning person and I don’t like getting up early. My brain always feels foggy early in the morning, my bones feel stiff and my muscles rebel at having to work. Yet for over 30 years I have had to get up early to get kids ready for the day. I think I have complained the entire 30 years about it too. Recently I have noticed my 17 year old daughter (the one with Down Syndrome) saying the exact same thing I say, “I hate getting up early.” She says it frequently and bemoans the fact that she has to get up when the sky is still dark. Her words and her attitude echo mine but the funny thing is she really gets up easily early in the morning. She has learned to say those words and exhibit grumpy behavior because I do. Children are a great reflection of their parents words, actions and attitudes. They learn how to think and act about things from our behavior and sometimes that’s a good thing. Sometimes it’s not so good. Since hearing my daughter repeat not only my words but my tone of voice too, I have decided to not complain anymore (at least about getting up early). Now I have started focusing on the positive with her about getting out of a warm bed while its still dark outside. In my tired, fuzzy mornings I now say things like “aren’t we lucky that you get to go to a good school” or “you’re so lucky you get to ride the bus” because she absolutely loves to ride the bus. I still don’t like getting up early but focusing on the positive has been a good thing. There always is something positive to focus on because I live in a nice home that’s warm in the winter and cool in the summer. I have good food to eat and clean water to drink. Life is good and my words and attitude should reflect that. Hearing my daughter sound like me has also been a good thing. It helps me reshape my thinking and become aware of the things I say or do that maybe I need to change. Some things are easy to change while other things can be very difficult, but we do have help available. Keith Wilcox in the April 1985 General Conference said, “By seeking the Lord through prayer and through his holy scriptures, we learn to look for the beautiful and to develop positive attitudes.” God is in the details of our lives and will help us when we ask for His help, whether it’s something easy or something hard.

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1985/04/look-for-the-beautiful?lang=eng

Faith,Lessons Learned

Trying Counts!

posted on : August 2, 2018 posted by : Somethingsihavelearned 0 Comment

I try to read all of the General Conference talks that are printed in the Ensign each May and November and I write the date I read the talk at the top of the page.  I say try because I am usually not successful and often feel guilty thinking that this is another area that I’m not doing great in, some other way that I’m failing and another point that says I will never fully measure up.  One day when I was feeling discouraged at my shortcomings and thinking I will never improve enough, I thought I should read a few talks in the Ensign instead of relaxing by playing a game or some other trivial thing.  I picked up the Ensign and looked through it for a talk that didn’t have a date at the top of the page.  I kept leafing through and eventually saw that every talk had a date, and surprisingly to me, that I had read them all.  I had the thought come to my mind “You’re doing better than you think.”  This tender mercy happened because I was trying to do what’s right and even though I’m far from perfect, Heavenly Father blessed me for my effort.  It’s so easy to get discourage when we think about all of the things we are supposed to be doing in our lives. Sometimes it’s overwhelming to have lessons to prepare, scriptures and Ensigns to read, topics to study, classes to prepare for by reading the assigned material, Family Home Evening lessons to get ready and occasionally talks to write. I try to do these things but sometimes fall short and then I beat myself up because I failed– again. Doctrine and Covenants 46:9 teaches me that I am blessed not only when I keep the commandments but also even when I seek to do so, so in other words, trying counts.  This concept teaches me that becoming better is a process, not an event and when I honestly try, that slowly I do better and become better.  This tender mercy from a loving Heavenly Father showed me that efforts, even small ones, add up and to give myself more credit for trying.  Maybe I am doing better than I think, and maybe you are too.

 

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2016/04/tomorrow-the-lord-will-do-wonders-among-you?lang=eng

Children,Lessons Learned

The Birds and the Bees, and Other Things

posted on : July 2, 2018 posted by : Somethingsihavelearned 4 Comments

Many years ago when my oldest was about 7 years old she asked me where babies came from.  Knowing that this question would arise some time I had spent quite a bit of time reading books on how to discuss this topic with my children, so I was really prepared.  I told her all of the information I thought was age appropriate but made sure I included enough details so she basically had the information and afterwards I was really proud of myself on how I handled it and had answered her questions easily and just generally did a good job. I felt like I deserved a gold star on my parent chart for that conversation.  Several months later she asked basically the same questions and I was confused.  So I asked her if she remembered the conversation we had before on the same topic and surprisingly she said no.  I’m thinking, “wait a minute, you don’t remember that masterful job of teaching I did?”  So I was a little frustrated but I explained it again and I eventually learned that most topics that parents need to teach their children about need to be taught several times.  Usually there are many conversations that are needed to cover important topics because we learn in small doses.  I do this with General Conference.  A speaker will say something that my brain latches onto and I am no longer listening to what he is saying but thinking about the one thing that struck me.  When I finally tune back in I have missed all of the in between stuff.  Fortunately we have the Ensign to read the talks or can listen to them through media outlets.  Children are the same.  They need to be taught the same thing over and over until it sinks in, and they do better being taught in small doses.  After they have learned one thing well they are ready to learn the next component, and you can usually tell what they are really wanting to know by asking a few questions. So even masterful teaching requires being done over and over again, whether it is the birds and the bees or other things.

Church,Family,Parenting

Bringing Conference to My Family

posted on : June 4, 2018 posted by : Somethingsihavelearned 0 Comment

When my children were younger they would usually listen to General Conference but they didn’t read the Ensign or New Era conference issues and study the talks.  One of the things I found helpful to bring the talks to them was to type up quotes and post them in my kitchen.  As I would read the talks I would mark quotes or ideas I thought would be good to post.  Every week, sometimes even longer if I didn’t have my life together (frequently) or if there was a quote I particularly liked, I would flip through the conference issue and find the things I marked and choose another quote.  I typed and printed it and then posted it in the kitchen, and since I had already marked the quotes, this only took a few minutes.  At one point I realized there were so many good quotes that I started doing two and put them in different areas of the kitchen.  When one of my daughters was a teenager she told me that she really liked having those quotes posted and she read them frequently, it helped her in her life, and that she even tried to memorize them.  I also hoped that it positively influenced some of my children who were struggling, and it was a way of preaching without preaching.  The funny thing is that I think I benefited the most from the quotes.  I would read and reread them as I worked in the kitchen and the words sank deeply into my heart and I was able to ponder on them.  I frequently thought about how I could implement the ideas and thoughts into my life, and some of the promises I clung to and still do.  This has been an easy and simple way to bring conference to my family.