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Browsing Tag: fair

Things I’ve Learned The Hard Way

Here is a list of some of the things I’ve learned along the way, and some of them the hard way:

1)  Yelling at someone never accomplishes anything positive, but controlling my temper does.

2)  Sometimes I do my best and it’s not good enough.  Often God will make up the difference but sometimes people need to recognize it was my best and let it go.

3)  Sometimes I’m the one who needs to recognize it was someone’s best effort and let it go.

4)  Often I want life to be easier but anything worth having takes a lot of work, and that includes raising a family.

5)  Don’t worry about the small things because they are small things.

6)  Taking the long view always pays off.

7)  When I’m feeling grumpy and snap at people it’s usually myself I’m upset with. Recognizing this allows me to take a step back and make adjustments.

8)  When I’ve mastered bad habits it’s easy to slide back if I’m not vigilant.

9)  People I love get to make their own choices and all I can do is love them, but it doesn’t mean I have to like their choices.

10)  It’s better to listen to understand others instead of telling them how they should think/act/be.

11)  Input from others is good but the bigger the group the harder it is to decide something.

12)  Fair does not mean equal-each of my children get what they need and it’s not always the same or even the same amount as another one of my children.

13)  It took me a long time to figure out but I have no control over anyone but myself and even that’s iffy sometimes.

Since I have learned these things and have applied them in my life I have been happier and life has gone better. But, and this is number fourteen-

14)  Even if I am doing my best to live a good life, being kind to others and keeping the commandments I will still have challenges and problems.  The only way to deal with life and be happy is through Jesus Christ and His grace.

 

 

Be The Good

Many years ago my husband was in the bishopric of a singles ward.  The Relief Society leaders asked the wives of the bishopric to speak to them on specific topics addressing marriage and motherhood and I was assigned “Preparing for Motherhood.” This was such a vast topic and I pondered it for quite a while unsure of the direction to take, but as I thought about it the concept of ‘be what you want your children to be’ came to me.  I had them write down 5 quality traits they wanted their children to have and then talked to them about the best way to develop those traits in their children is to develop them in themselves and then of course, model that trait. So, If you want your children to be honest then you need to be honest.  If you want them to be hard workers then you need to be a hard worker.  Since children learn by example the best way to prepare for motherhood is to work on developing qualities that you want your children to have, you become what you want your children to become.  In some small way this reminds me of the quote by Gandhi “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” Gandhi was a great man of vision who understood that we can’t change anyone but ourselves, and that by changing ourselves we influence those around us and thus change the world. So in other words, if you want the world to be kind, be kind.  If you want the world to be fair and just, then be fair and just.  Whenever I see someone who is a good person doing good things it inspires me to want to be better and do better.  Their example gives me hope for the world.  Another thing I like about the quote by Gandhi is the connotation to quit complaining and do something about the problems we see around us.  It’s definitely easier to complain than to work to change the things we see around us by volunteering, donating and speaking up and the many other ways there are to make the world a better place.  And of course, the efforts of a parent in the home do much to make the world a better place which leads me back to my original thought-improving myself does much to improve the world (now if I could just narrow down my vast list of areas to improve in so I knew where to start…).