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Browsing Tag: Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

Church,Faith

Fasting When It’s Difficult

posted on : October 1, 2018 posted by : Somethingsihavelearned 0 Comment

In our church, on the first Sunday of each month, we fast for 24 hours from food.  There are two main reasons for fasting.  One is that the money we would have spent on the meals is given to the church to help those in need, and we are encouraged to be very generous with our donation.  Another reason for fasting is to learn to have our spirits in control over our bodies, because going without food for 24 hours can be very difficult.  Since I have migraines I have had difficulty in fasting.  When I don’t eat I get migraines, sometimes very severe ones, which can last for days.  They not only affect me but also my family.  I tried eating lightly to still obey the essence of the fast but I still got migraines.  One time a friend told me that she got headaches too from not eating but found that when she started and ended her fast with a prayer she did fine.  So I tried that and got a huge migraine.  Obviously what works for one person does not always work for another person.  I struggled for many years with how to fast and be obedient to the principle. I felt like I was missing out on the blessings that come from obedience, even though I felt good that we were at least doing the donation part. One day a friend suggested there are many things I could fast from besides food, which hadn’t occurred to me before.  I started thinking about this and decided I could fast from technology-no games on my phone or iPad, no reading newspapers on my laptop, no TV and no radio programs. I decided I could still do family history and my journal on my laptop, because they were not entertainment based. Basically nothing that is entertainment oriented involving technology.  I have been doing this for many years now and believe it or not, it’s very difficult to do. It’s amazing how hard it is to not get my iPad out and play a game, or to watch a TV program.  In some ways it helps me realize how much time I actually spend playing games. Because it is hard to do it is actually a fast and something that my spirit has to be in charge of.  I have to remind myself what I hope to gain from fasting, which in part is to show my love for my Savior, Jesus Christ.  I would like to say that it has gotten easier over the years but it hasn’t.  Every Fast Sunday I still struggle with the no technology fast but I think that’s what makes it a true fast.  If it was easy it wouldn’t really be a fast.  I do believe that when I make an honest effort to be obedient to a principle, especially when it’s hard, the Lord blesses me for my efforts.  As I learn to master myself I gain greater strength to help me in other areas of my life. Fasting is another example of a commandment that is really designed to bless those who follow it.

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2015/04/is-not-this-the-fast-that-i-have-chosen?lang=eng

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2001/04/the-law-of-the-fast?lang=eng

Lessons Learned

Moving and New Friends

posted on : September 24, 2018 posted by : Somethingsihavelearned 0 Comment

A little over 19 years ago we moved to a different home.  It was only 3 1/2 miles yet it seemed to be a lot farther than that.  My kids changed schools, we had a new ward to attend and we left many good friends. I was surprised at how lonely I felt for a long time even though the people in our new neighborhood and ward were very nice and friendly.  It was a hard adjustment and there were many days when I cried wanting to be with someone I knew well and felt safe with.  I tried connecting with friends from my old neighborhood but it just wasn’t the same because they had busy lives.  I would go to church in my new ward and see a lot of people who were always kind and welcoming and yet I just didn’t feel connected to anyone on a personal level.  You can’t become good friends with someone in an instant.  It takes time to develop deep friendships and connections, and everyone seemed so busy.  The loneliness went on for about 6 months when I decided I would volunteer to help with the church Christmas party.  There were two women who were in charge of the party and I don’t think I could have met better women.  They welcomed my help and ideas, and right away I was involved.  I helped set up, worked in the kitchen with other people and interacted with individuals in a more substantial way. I made phone calls to others in our ward to ask for help with the party.  Volunteering helped me to get to know the good people of my ward and I felt more connected to them.  After the Christmas party was over I could put names with faces much easier and felt much more comfortable chatting with people.  A few months later they asked me to help with another church party.  That really cemented friendships and from then on it wasn’t an issue.  I learned a big lesson from this situation.  People are nice and friendly but they can’t read my mind.  They didn’t know how lonely I was and nothing changed until I did something about my situation. I learned that it’s up to me to reach out and do something to change my life.  I also learned to be more aware of new people. Because I remember how I felt, I try to be friendly, inclusive and welcoming.  Being the new person can be lonely.

Lessons Learned,Life

Things I’ve Learned The Hard Way

posted on : September 20, 2018 posted by : Somethingsihavelearned 0 Comment

Here is a list of some of the things I’ve learned along the way, and some of them the hard way:

1)  Yelling at someone never accomplishes anything positive, but controlling my temper does.

2)  Sometimes I do my best and it’s not good enough.  Often God will make up the difference but sometimes people need to recognize it was my best and let it go.

3)  Sometimes I’m the one who needs to recognize it was someone’s best effort and let it go.

4)  Often I want life to be easier but anything worth having takes a lot of work, and that includes raising a family.

5)  Don’t worry about the small things because they are small things.

6)  Taking the long view always pays off.

7)  When I’m feeling grumpy and snap at people it’s usually myself I’m upset with. Recognizing this allows me to take a step back and make adjustments.

8)  When I’ve mastered bad habits it’s easy to slide back if I’m not vigilant.

9)  People I love get to make their own choices and all I can do is love them, but it doesn’t mean I have to like their choices.

10)  It’s better to listen to understand others instead of telling them how they should think/act/be.

11)  Input from others is good but the bigger the group the harder it is to decide something.

12)  Fair does not mean equal-each of my children get what they need and it’s not always the same or even the same amount as another one of my children.

13)  It took me a long time to figure out but I have no control over anyone but myself and even that’s iffy sometimes.

Since I have learned these things and have applied them in my life I have been happier and life has gone better. But, and this is number fourteen-

14)  Even if I am doing my best to live a good life, being kind to others and keeping the commandments I will still have challenges and problems.  The only way to deal with life and be happy is through Jesus Christ and His grace.

 

 

Lessons Learned

Dream Big, Work Hard

posted on : September 13, 2018 posted by : Somethingsihavelearned 0 Comment

When I was in my early 20’s I saw a sign that said “A Dreamer Lives Forever” and I thought it was a great saying.  I did little doodles with this saying and put them on my wall, and I felt it was profound. Currently there are similar signs that say things like “Dream Big” or “Live Your Dreams” and other similar thoughts, but now I think the sayings are a little incomplete.  Dreaming is only one part of the equation.  Without work or effort dreams amounts to very little, as well as efforts without dreams also don’t mean much.  Thomas S. Monson had a saying that I particularly like, from a talk he gave in 1989. “Vision without effort is daydreaming, effort without vision is drudgery; but vision, coupled with effort, will obtain the prize.”  I like this saying because there was a time when it seemed that all I did was work, work, work!  I was always tired and it felt like my life was drudgery as I went from one thing to the next.  When I read this quote I realized what was missing: vision.  I was working hard without a vision of why I was expending so much effort.  I did some pondering about why I was working so hard, raising my children and keeping up my home, trying to be a good wife and a good person.  I thought about what my purpose was not only as a wife and mother but as a person and a child of God.  I thought about why I was here on this earth and basically, what my goals in life were.  It took me a while but slowly I started to look at things differently.  I’d like to say that all the hard work went away but it didn’t and sometimes I didn’t keep my vision in the forefront of my thinking so sometimes it still seemed like drudgery. But my attitude and thinking did improve and at least I knew why I was doing all that hard work.  Over the years I have gotten better at keeping my vision, my goals in my mind.  Even now, with only one child at home, when life is easier, I still need to have vision and goals.  I still need to know why I’m doing what I’m doing.  Dreaming is good, and combining it with effort will win the prize.

https://www.lds.org/ensign/1989/06/finishers-wanted?lang=eng

Lessons Learned

Fainting While Giving a Talk is Never a Good Idea

posted on : September 6, 2018 posted by : Somethingsihavelearned 0 Comment

I have always worked hard to give good talks.  Even when I was a teenager I tried to give talks worth listening to.  People would tell me “when we see your name on the program we know it’s going to be a good meeting.”  Now, I know these people meant this as a compliment but what it really did was put pressure on me to give a perfect talk.  Each talk I gave had to be better than the previous one because I didn’t want to let anyone down.  So, I usually spent many hours researching the topic, memorized my talks and worked on the delivery.  It got so bad that I developed anxiety about speaking, thinking my talk had to be perfect.  I was sure people were listening to every word to judge me, deciding if I was competent or not.  When I was in college while I was speaking in a church meeting the pressure to perform became so great that I fainted in the middle of the talk-right there on the stand, flat-out fainted.  I got back up to finish the talk but started getting light-headed again so the bishop told me to not worry about finishing it. Fortunately I wasn’t asked to speak again in that ward!  But a few years later while I was speaking in another ward the same thing happened.  Because I had memorized the talk I kept on talking while getting light-headed hoping it would pass but all that passed was me-right there on the stand again.  This time I got up and made a joke about fainting and was able to continue with the talk.  After fainting twice while giving talks I really became anxious about speaking in pubic and this carried over to teaching lessons and even saying prayers in Sacrament Meeting.  I was so worried about doing these things perfectly but ironically when others gave talks if they didn’t word everything perfectly I didn’t think they were incompetent or lazy or foolish.  Usually I just enjoyed their talks and never thought they had to be perfect.  And so I prayed and hoped I wouldn’t be asked to give a talk or prayer.

Several years later I was asked to give the opening prayer in Sacrament Meeting and I was petrified-I didn’t want to mess up or faint.  As I stood at the pulpit and looked out at the audience the thought came to me “these people are all your friends and they would never wish you any harm” and then a complete peace settled on me.  I have no idea what I said in that prayer but I believe that because I was willing to do the prayer even though I was terrified, the Lord blessed me with this wonderful, peaceful experience.  This experience was life changing for me and just like the anxiety carried over from talks to lessons and prayers, this experience also carried over to those other areas.  The peace I felt  was amazing, so much so that now when I speak in a meeting I feel the peaceful reassurance that these people are my friends and wishing the best for me. I still work really hard to give good talks or lessons but now I am no longer worried about having to be perfect at it, in fact there’s been a couple of times I have actually enjoyed speaking.

Church,Lessons Learned

Looking For Answers

posted on : August 30, 2018 posted by : Somethingsihavelearned 2 Comments

A friend of mine told me about a Family Home Evening lesson she did. To prepare for it she inventoried her chest freezer and made a list of hard to find items.  Then she put other food items on top of those food items on her list.  For the lesson she handed out the list of things and had her kids go look for them in the freezer.  They found a couple of the easy ones but couldn’t find most of the items.   Now she knew they were there so she told them to go look again. They came back still only finding a few of the items on the list, partly because they didn’t really want to find them.  Together they went and found everything on the list.  She compared this to searching for answers to gospel questions.  She told them that some questions are easily answered while others take perseverance and a lot of digging to find the answers and sometimes help is needed from someone with a lot of gospel experience.  Just like digging for hard to find food items in a freezer we have to more than casually look for answers to our gospel questions and we need to really want to find the answers.  For most of the questions we have, we are able to find the answers with a little effort.   Some questions though take a lot of effort, pondering and prayer.  They may take years or even a life time to find the answers and some may only be answered in the next life.  But I have found that when I find answers to my questions it strengthens my faith that the harder to find answers are there and to keep searching for them, and to accept that for some I may have to wait until the next world to receive my answers.  I have also found that when I have to work really hard for an answer that I value it more, I really appreciate the answer and sometimes I even treasure it.  In some ways I think this is part of the plan.  Our Heavenly Father knows that as we look for answers our faith grows and our knowledge increases and not always just in the arena of the questions we have.  He also knows that when we have to work hard for something, we value it more. I know the answers are there if we faithfully persevere and look for them.

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2015/10/faith-is-not-by-chance-but-by-choice?lang=eng

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/04/waiting-on-the-road-to-damascus?lang=eng

Faith,Friendship

Good Friends

posted on : August 6, 2018 posted by : Somethingsihavelearned 0 Comment

I have always been intrigued with the story about Christ found in the Bible in Mark 2:2-12.  It tells of a man in Capernaum who had palsy.  Christ was teaching in a home and it was so crowded that people spilled out of the doorway into the outer court.  The man who had palsy had 4 friends that carried him on a litter and tried to get him into the house.  They were sure that if they could get their friend into the house that Christ could heal him.  When they couldn’t get into the house because of the crowd of people, they took him up to the roof and made a hole in it and then lowered the man down through the hole to Christ.  In verse 5 it says “When Jesus saw their faith, he said unto the sick of the palsy, Son, thy sins be forgiven thee.”  Now there were scribes who were there listening to Christ teach and they “reasoned in their hearts” as the scriptures said, that only God could forgive sins and that Christ was speaking blasphemies.  Jesus knew their thoughts and in verse 8 we read that He said “Why reason ye these things in your hearts? Whether is it easier to say to the sick of the palsy, Thy sins be forgiven thee; or to say, Arise, and take up thy bed, and walk?  But that ye may know that the Son of man hath power on earth to forgive sins, (he saith to the sick of the palsy,) I say unto thee, Arise, and take up thy bed, and go thy way into thine house.  And immediately he arose, took up the bed, and went forth before them all; insomuch that they were all amazed, and glorified God…”   One of the things that I like about this story is that the man with palsy had very good friends.  They obviously had great faith and were willing to do whatever it took to bring their friend to Christ and they didn’t let obstacles stop them in their quest.  So questions come to my mind: Do I help my friends come to Christ?  Am I an influence for good in the lives of others?   Sister Linda Burton, who was the Relief Society General President, asked “How can we expect to strengthen families or help others unless we first have written in our own hearts a deep and abiding faith in Jesus Christ and His Infinite Atonement?”  So in order to be a good friend, I must work on having a deep and abiding testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ and apply the blessings of the atonement to my own life.  I can do this by increasing my own faith through obedience to the principles of the gospel.  Sister Burton also told this story: “A woman walking along a road fell into a pit so deep she could not climb out.   No matter what she did, she could not get out by herself.  The woman called for help and rejoiced when a kind passerby heard her and lowered a ladder down into the pit.  This allowed her to climb out of the pit and regain her freedom.”  She goes on to say “We are like the woman in the pit.  Sinning is like falling into the pit, and we can’t get out by ourselves.  Just as the kind passerby heard the woman’s cry for help, Heavenly Father sent his Only Begotten Son to provide the means of escape.  Jesus Christ’s atonement could be compared to lowering a ladder into the pit; it gives us the means to climb out.  But the Savior does more than lower the ladder, He comes down into the pit and makes it possible for us to use the ladder to escape.  Just as the woman in the pit had to climb up the ladder, we must repent of our sins and obey the gospel principles and ordinances to climb out of our pit and make the Atonement work in our lives.  Thus, after all we can do, the Atonement makes it possible for us to become worthy to return to Heavenly Father’s presence.”  I love this analogy, especially that Christ climbs down into the pit with us, He not only gives us the ladder but helps us climb up it. In Mosiah 18 it teaches us to “mourn with those that mourn, comfort those that need comforting and to stand as a witness of God in all times and in all things and in all places.”  It is interesting that comforting others is linked with standing as a witness of God.  Being a good friend involves both.  So other questions to ask myself are: do I do these things?  Can I do them better?  Am I like the friends of the palsied man who had such great faith that they brought him to Christ and didn’t let anything stand in their way?  I know this is the kind of friend that I would like to have and that I would like to be.  My faith in Jesus Christ is strengthened through the atonement that not only enables me to climb out of the pit but also gives me power to continue on the strait and narrow path that is enriched through good friends who help bring me to Christ.

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/10/is-faith-in-the-atonement-of-jesus-christ-written-in-our-hearts?lang=eng

Faith,Lessons Learned

Trying Counts!

posted on : August 2, 2018 posted by : Somethingsihavelearned 0 Comment

I try to read all of the General Conference talks that are printed in the Ensign each May and November and I write the date I read the talk at the top of the page.  I say try because I am usually not successful and often feel guilty thinking that this is another area that I’m not doing great in, some other way that I’m failing and another point that says I will never fully measure up.  One day when I was feeling discouraged at my shortcomings and thinking I will never improve enough, I thought I should read a few talks in the Ensign instead of relaxing by playing a game or some other trivial thing.  I picked up the Ensign and looked through it for a talk that didn’t have a date at the top of the page.  I kept leafing through and eventually saw that every talk had a date, and surprisingly to me, that I had read them all.  I had the thought come to my mind “You’re doing better than you think.”  This tender mercy happened because I was trying to do what’s right and even though I’m far from perfect, Heavenly Father blessed me for my effort.  It’s so easy to get discourage when we think about all of the things we are supposed to be doing in our lives. Sometimes it’s overwhelming to have lessons to prepare, scriptures and Ensigns to read, topics to study, classes to prepare for by reading the assigned material, Family Home Evening lessons to get ready and occasionally talks to write. I try to do these things but sometimes fall short and then I beat myself up because I failed– again. Doctrine and Covenants 46:9 teaches me that I am blessed not only when I keep the commandments but also even when I seek to do so, so in other words, trying counts.  This concept teaches me that becoming better is a process, not an event and when I honestly try, that slowly I do better and become better.  This tender mercy from a loving Heavenly Father showed me that efforts, even small ones, add up and to give myself more credit for trying.  Maybe I am doing better than I think, and maybe you are too.

 

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2016/04/tomorrow-the-lord-will-do-wonders-among-you?lang=eng

Lessons Learned,Life

How Do I Know God Loves Me?

posted on : July 26, 2018 posted by : Somethingsihavelearned 0 Comment

Recently on a very hot day I had a conversation with one of my daughters in which I said “I know God loves me because of air conditioning.”  Mostly I was trying to be funny, but it got me thinking about the ways that I truly do know that God loves me.  I remember a time a few years ago when I had spent days working in my front flower garden.  It took me many hours to trim, weed, clean out the old and plant new flowers.  When I was finished I stepped back and looked at the amazing display of colors, varieties and textures as well as sizes and shapes.  I felt complete satisfaction and joy at looking at the result of my hard work and in that moment I felt my Heavenly Father’s love for me.  I realized that He didn’t have to make so many varieties of flowers and colors with different shapes and textures but that He made, through His Son Jesus Christ, a beautiful world to please His children and to give them an amazing place to live.  When I looked at those flowers I felt His love, and there are many other ways I also feel His love.  Even though I have an average sort of singing voice, whenever I sing church hymns I also feel it. There’s something about the words and the music that combine to touch me deeply and I recognize that sacred music not only allows me to feel the Spirit but also communicates His love for me.  Sometimes this is a hard concept to not only understand but to feel.  I once had a conversation with someone where we were talking about charity and how it is the pure love of Christ.  We talked about the Relief Society motto “Charity never Faileth” and he expressed the thought that sometimes charity does fail because people aren’t perfect and sometimes let him down. I explained to him that it is God’s love that never fails, not people’s love.  People make mistakes and aren’t even close to perfect but God’s love for us is perfect and it never ends.  I could see from his face that it was a new concept to him.  It doesn’t matter what we do or don’t do, He loves each of us personally and individually.  God shows His love to each of His children in different ways and if we will look for it we will see how He tells each of us individually and personally that He loves us.

https://www.lds.org/ensign/2014/01/young-adults/i-feel-gods-love-when?lang=eng

Faith,Life

Gratitude and Prayer

posted on : July 5, 2018 posted by : Somethingsihavelearned 0 Comment

I have given some thought about prayer and why we are instructed to thank our Father in Heaven for our blessings before asking for the things we need.  When I express in my prayers sincere gratitude for the things I have in my life I feel a change in myself and in my attitude.  I become more humble and in tune with the Spirit, and I can feel a difference in how I approach my problems, how I see others around me and I feel a greater desire to help them.  James E. Talmage said “Gratitude is the twin sister to humility.”  Sincere gratitude leads to humility and when I sincerely thank my God for His love and blessings I definitely become more humble and then I am in a better position to ask for the things I need, and then often the things I need are no longer things.  When I really focus on my gratitude in my prayers I also end my prayers feeling happier, and closer to my Heavenly Father, and sometimes I feel the Spirit intensely.  For me gratitude is closely linked with happiness and actually with most of the desirable traits of life, and it gives perspective to my life.  Not recognizing the hand of God and the blessings He gives us in our lives often leads to coveting, jealously, and unhappiness and for me being grumpy, because I am usually feeling dissatisfied with my life.  When I was a student at BYU there was one semester when I decided my prayers were boring.  I felt like I was saying the same things over and over so I decided that I would find one new thing each day to be grateful for.  I remember one day walking to class and seeing the most beautiful monarch butterfly.  It flew along with me as I walked and I noticed how graceful it was and how delicate.  That night I thanked my Heavenly Father for that butterfly that seemed to have been sent just for me to enjoy.  That semester at school was one of the happiest times of my life and I think it was because I was actively looking for things to be grateful for.  Being truly grateful leads me to be more humble and happier, makes my prayers more meaningful and draws me closer to my Heavenly Father.  We are commanded to be grateful but isn’t it interesting that just like all of the other commandments, it is to bless our lives.  God doesn’t need us to be grateful but oh how we need  to be grateful.

https://www.lds.org/ensign/2014/05/sunday-morning-session/grateful-in-any-circumstances?lang=eng