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Browsing Tag: attitude

Children,Lessons Learned

I Hate Getting Up Early

posted on : February 16, 2019 posted by : Somethingsihavelearned 2 Comments

I am not a morning person and I don’t like getting up early. My brain always feels foggy early in the morning, my bones feel stiff and my muscles rebel at having to work. Yet for over 30 years I have had to get up early to get kids ready for the day. I think I have complained the entire 30 years about it too. Recently I have noticed my 17 year old daughter (the one with Down Syndrome) saying the exact same thing I say, “I hate getting up early.” She says it frequently and bemoans the fact that she has to get up when the sky is still dark. Her words and her attitude echo mine but the funny thing is she really gets up easily early in the morning. She has learned to say those words and exhibit grumpy behavior because I do. Children are a great reflection of their parents words, actions and attitudes. They learn how to think and act about things from our behavior and sometimes that’s a good thing. Sometimes it’s not so good. Since hearing my daughter repeat not only my words but my tone of voice too, I have decided to not complain anymore (at least about getting up early). Now I have started focusing on the positive with her about getting out of a warm bed while its still dark outside. In my tired, fuzzy mornings I now say things like “aren’t we lucky that you get to go to a good school” or “you’re so lucky you get to ride the bus” because she absolutely loves to ride the bus. I still don’t like getting up early but focusing on the positive has been a good thing. There always is something positive to focus on because I live in a nice home that’s warm in the winter and cool in the summer. I have good food to eat and clean water to drink. Life is good and my words and attitude should reflect that. Hearing my daughter sound like me has also been a good thing. It helps me reshape my thinking and become aware of the things I say or do that maybe I need to change. Some things are easy to change while other things can be very difficult, but we do have help available. Keith Wilcox in the April 1985 General Conference said, “By seeking the Lord through prayer and through his holy scriptures, we learn to look for the beautiful and to develop positive attitudes.” God is in the details of our lives and will help us when we ask for His help, whether it’s something easy or something hard.

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1985/04/look-for-the-beautiful?lang=eng

Lessons Learned

Dream Big, Work Hard

posted on : September 13, 2018 posted by : Somethingsihavelearned 0 Comment

When I was in my early 20’s I saw a sign that said “A Dreamer Lives Forever” and I thought it was a great saying.  I did little doodles with this saying and put them on my wall, and I felt it was profound. Currently there are similar signs that say things like “Dream Big” or “Live Your Dreams” and other similar thoughts, but now I think the sayings are a little incomplete.  Dreaming is only one part of the equation.  Without work or effort dreams amounts to very little, as well as efforts without dreams also don’t mean much.  Thomas S. Monson had a saying that I particularly like, from a talk he gave in 1989. “Vision without effort is daydreaming, effort without vision is drudgery; but vision, coupled with effort, will obtain the prize.”  I like this saying because there was a time when it seemed that all I did was work, work, work!  I was always tired and it felt like my life was drudgery as I went from one thing to the next.  When I read this quote I realized what was missing: vision.  I was working hard without a vision of why I was expending so much effort.  I did some pondering about why I was working so hard, raising my children and keeping up my home, trying to be a good wife and a good person.  I thought about what my purpose was not only as a wife and mother but as a person and a child of God.  I thought about why I was here on this earth and basically, what my goals in life were.  It took me a while but slowly I started to look at things differently.  I’d like to say that all the hard work went away but it didn’t and sometimes I didn’t keep my vision in the forefront of my thinking so sometimes it still seemed like drudgery. But my attitude and thinking did improve and at least I knew why I was doing all that hard work.  Over the years I have gotten better at keeping my vision, my goals in my mind.  Even now, with only one child at home, when life is easier, I still need to have vision and goals.  I still need to know why I’m doing what I’m doing.  Dreaming is good, and combining it with effort will win the prize.

https://www.lds.org/ensign/1989/06/finishers-wanted?lang=eng

Faith,Life

Gratitude and Prayer

posted on : July 5, 2018 posted by : Somethingsihavelearned 0 Comment

I have given some thought about prayer and why we are instructed to thank our Father in Heaven for our blessings before asking for the things we need.  When I express in my prayers sincere gratitude for the things I have in my life I feel a change in myself and in my attitude.  I become more humble and in tune with the Spirit, and I can feel a difference in how I approach my problems, how I see others around me and I feel a greater desire to help them.  James E. Talmage said “Gratitude is the twin sister to humility.”  Sincere gratitude leads to humility and when I sincerely thank my God for His love and blessings I definitely become more humble and then I am in a better position to ask for the things I need, and then often the things I need are no longer things.  When I really focus on my gratitude in my prayers I also end my prayers feeling happier, and closer to my Heavenly Father, and sometimes I feel the Spirit intensely.  For me gratitude is closely linked with happiness and actually with most of the desirable traits of life, and it gives perspective to my life.  Not recognizing the hand of God and the blessings He gives us in our lives often leads to coveting, jealously, and unhappiness and for me being grumpy, because I am usually feeling dissatisfied with my life.  When I was a student at BYU there was one semester when I decided my prayers were boring.  I felt like I was saying the same things over and over so I decided that I would find one new thing each day to be grateful for.  I remember one day walking to class and seeing the most beautiful monarch butterfly.  It flew along with me as I walked and I noticed how graceful it was and how delicate.  That night I thanked my Heavenly Father for that butterfly that seemed to have been sent just for me to enjoy.  That semester at school was one of the happiest times of my life and I think it was because I was actively looking for things to be grateful for.  Being truly grateful leads me to be more humble and happier, makes my prayers more meaningful and draws me closer to my Heavenly Father.  We are commanded to be grateful but isn’t it interesting that just like all of the other commandments, it is to bless our lives.  God doesn’t need us to be grateful but oh how we need  to be grateful.

https://www.lds.org/ensign/2014/05/sunday-morning-session/grateful-in-any-circumstances?lang=eng

Lessons Learned

Rose Bushes and Ziplock Bags

posted on : March 26, 2018 posted by : Somethingsihavelearned 0 Comment

There is a quote attributed to Abraham Lincoln that I particularly like: “We can complain because rose bushes have thorns or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”  It reminds me that life is how you look at it and perspective can make all of the difference.  When my husband and I had been married only a few years and money was very tight and I would wash and reuse ziplock bags over and over again.  I hated washing them and having them out to dry and I looked forward to the day when I could afford to buy ziplock bags and just throw them away after I had used them.  Fast forward several years and the day did come when I could just toss them after using them, but then recycling became fashionable and I found myself washing bags and reusing them so I could be ecologically minded and help save the planet.  Funny thing is I didn’t mind washing and reusing them then, in fact I even felt good about myself and my effort to be a conservationist.  Nothing had changed but my attitude and in reflecting upon this I have wondered how many other situations I could have improved by changing my attitude. There are many things I have little control over but I always have control over my attitude and perspective.

Life

Parade of Homes

posted on : December 29, 2017 posted by : Somethingsihavelearned 2 Comments

Every June my husband and I used to go to the Parade of Homes that was held in our county.  I liked to see the latest in home design and decor and fantasize about the home I would have some day.  These homes were decorated perfectly and had new appliances and looked great because there was no mess and no one’s stuff “decorating” the house.  Usually I would come home and feel dissatisfied with my house.  I would be irritated that my house didn’t have the latest garbage disposal or the best stove or endless cabinets to store things in or a beautiful couch fitting into an overall decor scheme, and of course there was lots of “evidence” of people living in our house.  When I really thought about it I realized I had a nice home and nothing had changed but my attitude.  It didn’t have the latest and greatest but it did have many nice features and was in a good neighborhood with great neighbors.  My solution?  I quit going to the Parade of Homes and decided to be happy with what I had.