Category: Life

My mother-in-law is a wonderful woman.  She was widowed almost 19 years ago and came to live with us over eleven years ago after she had a series of strokes that left her deaf in one ear, diminished hearing in her other ear and with short term memory problems.  She has lived a life of service and hard work for her family, church, community and neighbors and is a woman of virtue and integrity.  Since she is a woman who has no problem speaking her mind, I was worried when she first came to live with us that she would bluntly tell me what I was doing wrong but that hasn’t happened and she has kept her criticism to herself, and instead has expressed her gratitude for us.  When she would come into the dining room for dinner she always took her hearing aid out because we are a noisy group, but no criticism.  If she ever saw me doing something she felt could have been done better a different way, I never heard about it.  She fell almost 4 years ago when walking about in her room and has been bed ridden since. She’s 97 and has wondered out loud “what’s it going to take to kill me?” and she has also wondered what good she is possibly doing in the world while being in bed.  This is the closest she comes to complaining and usually ends with “well, it doesn’t do any good to complain so I might as well not worry about it.”  Her attitude is amazing considering that she’s had to endure a lot of physical pain that comes with a failing body and the personal indignities of being bed bound.  It’s obvious that she wants to die and because she has a firm faith in the gospel of Jesus Christ she knows she’ll be with her husband and family again in the next world.  But, in spite of her wanting to die, not renewing her pace maker battery 4 years ago and having congestive heart failure, she lives on.  She wonders what good she is doing in the world where as I can see the good.  Through the years whenever my children needed someone to talk to there was always grandma with a listening ear.  Many times I would walk by her room and see one of my daughters lying on her bed talking with her and that daughter always left knowing grandma had confidence in her and that she loved her.  She taught my girls how to mend, crochet hats and told them stories of their ancestors.  She helped my daughter with Down Syndrome learn how to read.  I had made flash cards with words on them and she spent hours going over the words and listening to her read from books, always with a positive word for my daughter’s efforts.  This daughter is a great reader thanks in a large part to grandma.  She watched Disney movies over and over because that’s what my youngest daughter wanted to do.  Even though her presence in our home has been nothing but positive, she’s not perfect and that’s given us opportunity to talk about how even a really good person still has things to work on in her life and we keep trying to be better no matter how old we are. This has also given our family opportunity to talk about being tolerant and understanding with others weaknesses. She’s taught my children about faith, counseled them to make good choices and been their cheer leader in their endeavors. Especially in the last 4 years she’s modeled gratitude and optimism, and given us the opportunity to serve her, always with a thank you.  My children have seen us helping her and have helped her too, and have learned that family is important and that you take care of each other, even if it’s not convenient.  Because of her we are better as individuals and as a family.