Daily Archives: September 24, 2018

A little over 19 years ago we moved to a different home.  It was only 3 1/2 miles yet it seemed to be a lot farther than that.  My kids changed schools, we had a new ward to attend and we left many good friends. I was surprised at how lonely I felt for a long time even though the people in our new neighborhood and ward were very nice and friendly.  It was a hard adjustment and there were many days when I cried wanting to be with someone I knew well and felt safe with.  I tried connecting with friends from my old neighborhood but it just wasn’t the same because they had busy lives.  I would go to church in my new ward and see a lot of people who were always kind and welcoming and yet I just didn’t feel connected to anyone on a personal level.  You can’t become good friends with someone in an instant.  It takes time to develop deep friendships and connections, and everyone seemed so busy.  The loneliness went on for about 6 months when I decided I would volunteer to help with the church Christmas party.  There were two women who were in charge of the party and I don’t think I could have met better women.  They welcomed my help and ideas, and right away I was involved.  I helped set up, worked in the kitchen with other people and interacted with individuals in a more substantial way. I made phone calls to others in our ward to ask for help with the party.  Volunteering helped me to get to know the good people of my ward and I felt more connected to them.  After the Christmas party was over I could put names with faces much easier and felt much more comfortable chatting with people.  A few months later they asked me to help with another church party.  That really cemented friendships and from then on it wasn’t an issue.  I learned a big lesson from this situation.  People are nice and friendly but they can’t read my mind.  They didn’t know how lonely I was and nothing changed until I did something about my situation. I learned that it’s up to me to reach out and do something to change my life.  I also learned to be more aware of new people. Because I remember how I felt, I try to be friendly, inclusive and welcoming.  Being the new person can be lonely.