Daily Archives: May 21, 2018

For many years I have wondered why I haven’t been able to forget the many sins and things that I’ve done wrong in my life and have repented of.  They come back to haunt me and I feel devastated that I did those wrong things and I end up with negative self talk, thoughts and generally feeling badly about myself.  I really just want to forget that I did those wrong things.  But, as I have thought about it, I have decided that remembering them is good for at least three reasons. One, it gives me understanding and empathy for those who are struggling as they are trying to change, and even for those who are not trying to change.  I get it, and I see how easily it is to fool ourselves into wrong behavior and then continue in the wrong behavior because it seems there’s no hope now.  I get how hard it is to change and leave old behaviors behind as I struggle forward in hopes of becoming more Christ like. I understand the lure of the world and how things seem good and fun and desirable.  I get what Nephi meant when he said in 2 Nephi 4:18 “I am encompassed about, because of the many temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me.” I am so very weak and so easily beset by sins and so easily stray off the path.  So even though I would like to forget the things I’ve done wrong, I am a more compassionate person because I remember.  Another reason I think it is good for me to remember the things I’ve done wrong in my life is that it helps me be less judgmental.  If I didn’t remember, it would be so easy to say about another person’s behaviors, “well, I would never do that” or “that person is an awful/bad/terrible person.”  Remembering allows me to separate the behavior from the person and to understand how easy it is to do wrong things, and helps me be less judgmental. It allows me to see another person as a human being who is weak and struggling, like me.  And finally, I also think that remembering the things I have done wrong acts as a barrier to prevent me from doing those wrongs and sins again.  I remember the pain I felt at the recognition of those sins being wrong and the struggle to overcome them through repentance. It is in the remembering of the shame and sorrow of having done those wrong things that helps to prevent me from making the same mistakes again, it helps me to get it. So even though I would love to forget the things I’ve done wrong I can see the wisdom in allowing me to remember, it allows me to get it.