Choices and Possibilities

I received two Masters Degrees, one in Social Work and the other in Marriage and Family Therapy.  After I married and started having children I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom and was glad to be there with my children but in the back of my mind I always thought that some day I would go back to work, and maybe even go back to school.  Turns out I really didn’t like Social Work in a clinical setting but because I have good organizational skills and wanted to help people I thought I would be good at doing something like organizing a soup kitchen or a refugee center or something similar.  I also have other interests such as children’s literature and geology, and I spent a lot of time thinking about the skills and abilities I have along with my interests and wondered what I would do when my children were older. I thought about it over the course of several years and I never could pin it down.  I just couldn’t come to any decision and the more I thought about it the more confused I became.  There were so many choices, so many possibilities, and over time I started thinking about it more and more and it really started to bother me.  I wanted to figure it out because I hate loose ends and because I wanted to have something I was working towards, and I wanted to have my future planned out.  But I just couldn’t decide and then one day it occurred to me that this was, as the scriptures say, a stupor of thought.  I couldn’t decide because none of it was right for me. This realization was startling and created a different focus on my future.  I would never go back to work or school because for some reason that wasn’t the right path for me and maybe I would do a mission or service of some kind or something else totally different.  Once I figured all of this out I quit worrying about it because it didn’t matter anymore.  And even though I like having my future figured out I am content knowing there is a path for me.  Now, if I could just figure out what that is…